Intimate Theology

Living In The Twenty-First Century (Part 2)

2012-01-26T10:38:00.000-10:00

And the backlash begins. But check out the defense:

Careful to Be Faithful
Friday, January 13, 2012

Some commenters lately seem to have typecast Grace to You as a bunch of cranky old men, fearful of a changing world that threatens their long-held positions of power. If that’s what you or someone you know believes about John MacArthur and Grace to You, allow me to make a couple of clarifications. First, a word about the nature of this ministry…

One person asked if Grace to You was the proverbial pot calling the kettle black for criticizing multisite churches that broadcast their preacher to other congregations. A valid question. It’s important to say up front, Grace to You is not to be the model for the local church.

Grace to You is a para-church ministry, not a local church. According to our Purpose Statement, we exist “to teach biblical truth with clarity, taking advantage of various means of mass communications to expand the sphere of John MacArthur’s teaching ministry.” Further,

Our role is not to supplant the local church’s ministry, but to support it by providing additional resources for those hungering for the truth of God’s Word. Media ministries can never substitute for involvement in a biblical church, group Bible study, or interaction with a teacher. Yet we sense the need for more in-depth resources, evidenced by the many Christians and Christian leaders worldwide who depend on our ministry to supplement their own study.

As a para-church ministry, there’s no biblical mandate for our organization. We have freedom to pursue it (biblically, culturally, politically), but if political or economic winds blow a different direction, well, the Lord gives no guarantees that Grace to You will continue to exist. We exist at the mercy of God’s good providence.

By contrast, the local church is a mandated organization. The Lord Jesus Christ created it (Matt. 16:18), commissioned it (Matt. 28:18-20), equipped it (Eph. 4:7, 11-12), and governs it (Matt. 18:15-20). Nothing—not political, economic, cultural influences, not even the gates of hell itself—can prevail against the Lord and His church.

Another interesting set of criticisms (and snipes) in the comment thread seem to indicate a misunderstanding about our view of technology. Some seem to think we are hypocritical to caution against technological innovation in the local church (i.e., multisite churches). The idea seems to be, if you use technology, you can’t criticize when others use it. One commenter asked,

All technology was given by God to reach the lost. We should be using every piece of it for the harvest before Satan uses it for his purpose. Your own ministry uses social media. Why wouldn’t you want to use it in the church?

To answer that question straight up, we’ve never said churches should not use technology. That’s not the point, and it never was the point. We are cautious about using technology and think others, especially churches, should be too.

Marshall McLuhan, Neil Postman, Nicholas Carr, and other “prophets” of the technology age have raised legitimate concerns about the effects of technology. We’re not alarmists, and we’re obviously not Luddites, but we think it’s wise to think about using technology before diving into it. That’s especially true for Christians who are commanded to test everything—ourselves (2 Cor. 13:5), words (1 Cor. 14:29; 1 Thess. 5:21), the spirits (1 John 4:1), and especially “gifts” from the culture (1 John 2:15-17)—to determine if it is or isn’t according to the will of God (Rom. 12:2). So, we don’t hate technology, or ideas, or innovation; but we are cautious because we fear the Lord and want to do what pleases Him.

One last word…being careful doesn’t mean we’re advocates for the moth-ball smelling churches today’s innovators are reacting against. We deplore dead orthodoxy and cold tradition more than anyone. We want churches to submit every decision, every pattern, every model, every initiative, every tradition, and every idea to the authority of God’s Word. Why? Because doing God’s work in God’s way glorifies Christ, puts His great gospel on display, and saves and sanctifies God’s elect.

Being careful is not the quick path to immediate gratification and big numbers—all the fleshly marks of success. It’s the slower, more methodical, deliberate, and (often) mundane walk of Christian faithfulness and church growth described by the Scripture. We want you to be careful to be faithful. That’s the true path to enduring joy and blessing.

Travis Allen
Director of Internet Ministry

Source: http://www.gty.org/blog/B120113

Living In The Twenty-First Century (Part 1)

2012-01-26T10:22:00.001-10:00

In regards to the technology-age's duplicity and bombardment which the 21st century has ushered in, my long-time [virtual] mentor and favorite preacher John MacArthur and his folks at Grace to You have courageously confronted this issue. Consider his inspired thoughts:

We Can, But Should We?
Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Technology continues to advance at a pace that renders every new smartphone, tablet computer, gadget, gizmo, and doohickey obsolete almost upon purchase. And for every successful product—one that actually makes it on the shelf and turns a profit—there have to be ___ failed attempts. That’s why we take a bit of a “wait and see” approach to innovation here at Grace to You. We’re not about to jeopardize our stewardship by riding on the bleeding edge of every new fad that comes down the pike.
Has anyone else noticed how many new and innovative approaches to ministry have become commonplace in evangelical conversation? If you attend one of many faithful, biblically-sound churches around the country, you’re probably scratching your head. But let me mention just a few I’ve noticed over the past year or so.

Multisite churches are now all the rage. If you don’t know what that means, you’re better off for it. Still, if you’d like to know, take a look at this tutorial. No matter what that video claims, there is no biblical justification for multisite church ministry, where satellite congregations watching the main preacher’s pulpit ministry remotely via video screen. Technology makes multisite possible, but is it spiritually beneficial for the saints of God?
It would seem that to accommodate the multisite model, some are trifurcating the duties of a pastor into categories of prophet (preacher, exhorter), priest (counselor, encourager), and king (visionary, overseer, administrator). Never mind that those are roles, only fulfilled by Christ, not biblical categories for different kinds of leaders. Here’s my question: Doesn’t the biblical elder/pastor strive to follow the Chief Shepherd in being all those things to his congregation?

What qualifies as biblical preaching these days is clear evidence of pulpit decline. There truly is a famine in the land. But that’s not what groupies, fans, and followers think. Taking hype, celebrity, and conference appearances as proof-positive that “this guy is solid, deep, and theologically sound,” many are unable to discern that their favorite preacher keeps missing the point of the passage. If the Holy Spirit’s intended meaning isn’t communicated in the sermon, you can be assured that is not solid, deep, or theologically sound.
The departure from biblical authority in church ministry has led to at least two closely-connected errors: unqualified leadership and an appeal to personal experience for validation. The biblical qualifications for church leadership (1 Tim. 3, Tit. 1) don’t seem to be that important, so long as you have a good dream, vision, or voice-from-God story that justifies your deal, you get a pass on the qualifications. And has anyone noticed how charismatic theology goes unchallenged? Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology is excellent, mostly; he’s got some serious problems with the exegesis underpinning his charismatic views.

So, the question is not, “Can we do church, ministry, leadership, church planting, etc. in this way or that?” Advancing technology has opened many vistas of new possibility, so, of course we can. The better question, the righteous question, is this: “Should we do thus and such in ministry?
The “should” question indicates accountability to a greater standard. And if it’s church ministry we’re talking about, that standard is sola scriptura. You won’t find the flavor of the month in churches submitted to the biblical model of ministry (of which there are many, even if they are small and unknown), but it’ll save you from having to trade out your shiny new ministry gadget every year or two as well. Just think about what God can build over the course of your life when you trust and obey the old standard to do its transforming work in your life and

church.

We’ll consider what that standard has to say in coming posts.

Travis Allen
Director of Internet Ministry

Source: http://www.gty.org/resources/blog/B120104/We-Can-But-Should-We

Don't Get Weird

2012-01-18T10:00:00.001-10:00

I've enjoyed reading and studying about evangelism. One of my close friends, Dan is a friend I have gained, hopefully for life, by way of getting to know him through the following testimony and lesson learned. Dan was also a former co-worker/brother in arms. There is so much to be gaine, accomplished, and God-glorifying through the simplicity of evangelism. It can get complicated but don't let it. Get out there, stop being weird, find common ground and simply talk to people. Christian, it is the Father's command.

From The Instructive Resurgence:

7 Tips for Talking with Your Neighbors about Jesus by Tim Gaydos

We met in the elevator of our condo building.

Instead of the classic stare down at the ground and avoid eye contact bit, I said hello and introduced myself. I asked him a few non-awkward, basic questions. How long have you lived here? Do you like it? Have you met any cool people?

The following week, I saw him in the lobby, and we picked up the conversation with a longer discussion revolving around the Seattle Mariners and their dim prospects for the year. I checked again to see if he was up for talking more, “If you want to watch a game at Sport, [the appropriately-named Seattle sports pub,] let me know.” He accepted, we figured out a good date and time and within a few weeks, we were grabbing a bite and watching a game together.

Breaking the Stereotype of Judgmental Jerk
It wasnʼt long before he found out I was a Christian, went to church, and loved Jesus. He said to me, “Wow, my stereotype of Christians has been blown away. Youʼre normal. You like good food and drink, you love your city and donʼt come off as a judgmental jerk.” I soon invited him to church, where he heard the gospel preached powerfully. He became a Christian and got involved in Community Groups, praise God.

For whatever reason, it’s easy for Christians to clam up and get weird when talking about their faith in the day-to-day. Here are a few tips to make bridge those inhibitions and get the conversation going:

1. Find a road that leads to Jesus.
In the course of conversation, be thinking of how Jesus intersects with the discussion, because Jesus intersects and touches everything in our culture: sports, music, art, politics. Look for bridges to introduce Jesus into the conversation. It should be just as casually or passionately as you talk about everything else.

2. Donʼt be weird and awkward.
“So...now, Iʼd like to talk with you about Jesus.” If all of a sudden you put on your "Jesus" hat and you are talking to them like a project and not a friend, then you're entering awkward territory. Now, there will be times it becomes awkward because talking about Jesus and sin can be that way, but don't let it be because you are socially weird.

3. Be winsome.
Included in that word is the word “win.” Be “winning” friends and the conversation by being engaging, friendly, and kind. For more on being winsome, check out Soul Winner by Charles Spurgeon.

4. Counter stereotypes and caricatures of Christians.
Many urban, secular folks have a particular caricature of a Christian, which is not very flattering (judgmental, harsh, the “morality police”), although many don’t personally have any Christian friends. Be gracious and talk with them, serve them, and love them.

5. Host an open house.
When my wife and I moved into a new apartment building we hosted an open house for the whole building and went over the top with really good food and wine. Dozens of our neighbors came out and it was the foundation for future gospel-centered conversations.

6. Be honest about your struggles and failings.
We all fall short. We all struggle and fail. The credit has to be given to Jesus in your life. Many non-Christians donʼt want to talk with Christians as they will feel guilty regarding their own problems.

7. Actions also communicate.
Serve your neighbors. Serve your neighborhood. Look for opportunities without being an attention-getter. Your neighbors are watching you and just as James said, faith without works is dead.

Source: http://theresurgence.com/2012/01/16/7-tips-for-talking-with-your-neighbors-about-jesus

Taming The Dragon

2012-01-04T07:43:00.001-10:00

Taming the Dragon from Moments with You 4 JAN 12 Devotion:

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

It can lie. It can gossip. It can slander. It can also murmur and complain. It can manipulate and flatter. It can tear down. It can paint itself in nice words, even while cutting someone to ribbons.

My friend Joe Stowell calls it "the dragon in our dentures." Our tongue. It can truly be deadly.
On the other hand, when that "dragon" is under the power of the Holy Spirit, when we are daily training it to be submitted to Christ’s control and available for His use and purposes, He can transform it into an instrument that delivers encouragement.

I remember being in church one Sunday morning when I spotted a prominent local oncologist walking by. I’d been hearing about some special things he’d been doing with his cancer patients--some unique ways he was allowing God to minister through him in the course of practicing his profession. So I caught his attention and said, "Hey, I just wanted you to know I really appreciate what you’re doing. Do you realize what an incredible minister for Christ you are? You’re making quite a difference in our community."

It was like I’d hit him with a stun gun. A dazed expression flashed across his face. And after a moment’s pause, he looked at me and said, "Really?" I said, almost laughing now, "Well, yeah. The things I’ve been hearing about the work you do are really inspiring. We could use a lot more Christ followers like you."

He shook my hand and smiled. "You don’t know how much I needed to hear that this morning. Thank you." I was reminded again how often people just need a nod of encouragement in their journey, no matter how confident he or she may appear to be.

Shared a good word with someone lately?

Discuss
Think about some things you’ve been noticing in others that are really worth praising. Slay the dragon and encourage them.

Pray
Ask God to make you and your words build up, not tear down.

A Few Thoughts on Free Will

2012-01-02T08:24:00.000-10:00

By John Piper

Before the fall of Adam sinless man was able to sin. For God said, “In the day that you eat of it you shall surely die” (Genesis 2:17).

As soon as Adam fell, sinful man was not able not to sin, since we were unbelieving,and “whatever is not from faith is sin” (Romans 14:23).

When we are born again, by the power of the Holy Spirit we are able to not sin, for “sin will have no dominion over you” (Romans 6:14).

This means that what Paul calls “the natural man” or “the mind of the flesh” is not able not to sin. Paul says this in Romans 8:7-9

The mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. (See also 1Corinthians 2:14).

How then shall we think of free will?

It is not a saving power. In his freedom to will, fallen man cannot on his own do anything but sin. Such “free will” is a devastating reality. Without some power to overcome it’s bent, our free will only damns us.

We could stop here and turn with joy to the gospel truth that God overcomes our resistance, gives us life, wakens our dead inclination for Christ, and freely and irresistibly draws us to himself (John 6:44, 65; Acts 13:48; Ephesians 2:5; 2 Timothy 2:25-26).

But it sometimes helps to answer objections. One common objection is that, if we “cannot” do what is right, and “can only” do what is sin, then we are not acting voluntarily and cannot be praised or blamed.

Here is part of John Calvin’s answer to this objection:

The goodness of God is so connected with his Godhead that it is not more necessary to be God than to be good; whereas the devil, by his fall, was so estranged from goodness that he can do nothing but evil.

Should anyone give utterance to the profane jeer that little praise is due to God for a goodness to which he is forced, is it not obvious to every man to reply, “It is owing not to violent impulse, but to his boundless goodness, that he cannot do evil?”

Therefore, if the free will of God in doing good is not impeded, because he necessarily must do good; if the devil, who can do nothing but evil, nevertheless sins voluntarily; can it be said that man sins less voluntarily because he is under a necessity of sinning? (Institutes, II.3.5)

Date: July 8, 2009 Source: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/a-few-thoughts-on-free-will)

7 Negative Effects of Porn by BJ Stockman

2012-01-01T10:39:00.004-10:00

7 Negative Effects of Porn
BJ Stockman » Worldviews Body Mind Sin Culture

This is a rather frank post on porn, so proceed, or not, with that in mind.

Porn is a problem. It's a personal problem for many and a cultural problem for all. You may think you have not been affected by porn, but you have because it's embedded in the surrounding culture. The staggering size of the pornography industry, its influence upon the media and the acceleration of technology, paired with the accessibility, anonymity, and affordability of porn all contribute to its increasing impact upon the culture.

Pornography affects you whether you’ve ever viewed it or not, and it is helpful to understand some of its negative effects, whether you are a man or woman, struggling with watching it, or simply a mom or dad with a son or daughter. There is a plethora of research on the detrimental effects of pornography (and I do not think that what follows are necessarily the worst of them), but here are seven negative effects of porn upon men and women:

1. Porn Contributes to Social and Psychological Problems Within Men
Anti-pornography activist, Gail Dines, notes that young men who become addicted to porn, “neglect their schoolwork, spend huge amounts of money they don’t have, become isolated from others, and often suffer depression.” (Pornland, 93). Dr. William Struthers, who has a PhD in biopsychology from the University of Illinois at Chicago, confirms some of these and adds more, finding that men who use porn become controlling, highly introverted, have high anxiety, narcissistic, curious, have low self-esteem, depressed, dissociative, distractible (Wired for Intimacy, 64-65). Ironically, while viewing porn creates momentary intensely pleasurable experiences, it ends up leading to several negative lingering psychological experiences.

2. Porn Rewires the Male Brain
Struthers elaborates,

As men fall deeper into the mental habit of fixating on [pornographic images], the exposure to them creates neural pathways. Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with woman are routed….They have unknowingly created a neurological circuit that imprisons their ability to see women rightly as created in God’s image (Wired For Intimacy, 85).
In a similar vein regarding porn’s effect upon the brain, Naomi Wolf writes in her article, "The Porn Myth,"

After all, pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers imaginable. If you associate orgasm with your wife, a kiss, a scent, a body, that is what, over time, will turn you on; if you open your focus to an endless stream of ever-more-transgressive images of cybersex slaves, that is what it will take to turn you on. The ubiquity of sexual images does not free eros but dilutes it.

3. Porn Turns Sex Into Masturbation
Sex becomes self-serving. It becomes about your pleasure and not the self-giving, mutually reciprocating intimacy that it was designed for.

4. Porn Demeans and Objectifies Women
This occurs from hard-core to soft-core pornography. Pamela Paul, in her book Pornified, quoting the research of one psychologist who has researched pornography at Texas A&M, writes,

‘Softcore pornography has a very negative effect on men as well. The problem with softcore pornography is that it’s voyeurism teaches men to view women as objects rather than to be in relationships with women as human beings.’ According to Brooks, pornography gives men the false impression that sex and pleasure are entirely divorced from relatoinships. In other words, pornography is inherently self-centered–something a man does by himself, for himself–by using another women as the means to pleasure, as yet another product to consume (80).
Paul references one experiment that revealed a rather shocking further effect of porn: “men and women who were exposed to large amounts of pornography were significantly less likely to want daughters than those who had none. Who would want their own little girl to be treated that way?” (80).

“It becomes about your pleasure and not the self-giving, mutually reciprocating intimacy that it was designed for.”

Again, it needs to be emphasized, that this is not an effect that only rests upon those who have viewed porn. The massive consumption of porn and the the size of the porn industry has hypersexualized the entire culture. Men and women are born into a pornified culture, and women are the biggest losers. Dines continues,

By inundating girls and women with the message that their most worthy attribute is their sexual hotness and crowding out other messages, pop culture is grooming them just like an individual perpetrator would. It is slowly chipping away at their self-esteem, stripping them of a sense of themselves as whole human beings, and providing them with an identity that emphasizes sex and de-emphasizes every other human attribute (Pornland, 118).

5. Porn Squashes the Beauty of a Real Naked Woman
Wolf, in her own blunt way, confirms this,

For most of human history, the erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn (Quoted in Wired for Intimacy, 38).

6. Porn Has a Numbing Effect Upon Reality
It makes real sex and even the real world boring in comparison. It particularly anesthetizes the emotional life of a man. Paul comments,

Pornography leaves men desensitivzed to both outrage and to excitement, leading to an overall diminishment of feeling and eventually to dissatisfaction with the emotional tugs of everyday life…Eventually they are left with a confusing mix of supersized expectations about sex and numbed emotions about women…When a man gets bored with pornography, both his fantasy and real worlds become imbued with indifference. The real world often gets really boring…” (Pornified, 90, 91).

7. Porn Lies About What it Means to be Male and Female
Dines records how porn tells a false story about men and women. In the story of porn, women are “one-dimensional”–they never say no, never get pregnant, and can’t wait to have sex with any man and please them in whatever way imaginable (or even unimaginable). On the other hand, the story porn tells about men is that they are “soulless, unfeeling, amoral life-support systems for erect penises who are entitled to use women in any way they want. These men demonstrated zero empathy, respect, or love for the women they have sex with…(Pornland, xxiv).”

How To Honor Your Wife by Mark Driscoll

2012-01-01T10:35:00.001-10:00

This post was adapted from TheResurgence.com website and adapted from the Marriage & Men sermon and edited by the Mars Hill Blog

Now, my tone is for the men. We speak to men differently than women. Were this a women’s conference, I would not call you all idiots and imbeciles and fools, that you’re a joke, okay? But you men, this is where it needs to go. You’ve been glad-handed and buddied up and positive thinking and you’re a winner and Jesus loves you and you can do better. And I’m telling you, you’re a joke. And the real men in the room know it and they see it. And maybe there’s one woman that you fooled and she doesn’t see it because like Eve, she’s deceived.

Show Honor to Your Wife
Here’s what Peter has to say In 1 Peter 3:7:

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayer may not be hindered.
In the previous verse, 1 Peter 3:6, he said that women, when it comes to marriage are prone toward, what? Fear. Fear. And you know what? Those fears that the women have about marriage are legitimate.

Your Wife Trusts You with the Rest of Her Life
If a woman marries a man, she’s trusting him with the rest of her life that he won’t hit her, cheat on her, that he’ll work hard, that he’ll pay the bills, that he’ll love their children, that he’ll finish the race well, that he’ll walk with Jesus until the end, that if she gets sick, he’ll look after her, that if she is dying, he will be faithful to her. Gentlemen, it is a terrifying thing for a woman to trust a sinful man.

“Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required.”

As a man, I don’t think I fully understood this until I had daughters, and now I have some understanding of that fear. The thought of taking one of my daughters and walking them down the aisle and handing them to a man and trusting that he will love them and protect them and serve them and care for them and look after them, it causes me fear and grave concern.

Don't Give Women a Reason to Fear
Women have legitimate fears, and what Peter is saying is that men need to be a particular way so those fears are alleviated. And I love his words, “in an understanding way, showing honor.” That’s a man.

Now as I say this, many of you guys will nod your head and say, “Yeah, that’s me.”

No, you’re not. So let me practically unpack this for you. Every man who reads this, even the best men among us, has areas of repentance and growth that are required. And so I want to talk to you men about some things that your woman will fear.

1. Honor Your Wife Maritally
What this means is, gentlemen, you’re not looking for a girlfriend if you are single. You’re not looking for a roommate. You’re not looking for a cohabitation partner. You’re looking for a wife. You must honor her while dating, that is when you're on your best behavior. I don’t care if you apologize, do you repent and lead? Being sorry is not enough; being Christ-like is what is necessary.

Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Are you selfless or selfish? Do you give yourself up for her or do you take from her?

What it is to be a one-woman man
When you get married, men, you are to be a one-woman man. That’s the requirement of an elder and that is the example for all men.

You’re not the flirt guy
You’re not the female buddies guy
You’re not the download porn guy
You’re not the “I got another gal on the side I always keep in case of emergency” guy
You’re not the wandering eye guy
If you are, you’re not honoring marriage and you’re not honoring your wife.

Don't make women fearful of men
I know some complete fools, they like to take their wedding ring off when they go out to the sports bar with the boys. Do you honor your marriage covenant? Do you take responsibility as the head of the marriage covenant, take responsibility for the well-being of the woman?

A woman has great fear. If you don’t honor marriage, she is statistically going to go into poverty upon divorce. She will become yet another single mother. She’ll have to find a way to explain to the children of why they shouldn’t be embittered against you even though you’re a loser. See, these fears are very legitimate. Women have seen this so many times that they’re fearful of men.

2. Honor Her Physically
Peter says that the woman is the “weaker vessel”. What that means is, generally speaking, if a husband and a wife get in a fist-fight, he’ll win. I’ll give you an example. Many of you have seen my wife, Grace. If we get in a fight, it’s not a fair fight. I have an 18-inch neck, she has an 18-inch waist. If someone breaks into our home, I’m not, “Go get ‘em, baby. You’re the tough one here. I’ll pray. II’ll pray imprecatory prayers in the closet.”

You know what, gentlemen? You are stronger than your woman
Do you ever hit her?
Do you ever shove her?
Do you ever push her?
Do you ever grab her, restrain her?
Do you ever raise a hand and threaten her?
Do you ever intimidate her with physical violence?
Do you give her that look, that pierced, glazed, violent, angry, don’t-push-it-now’s-a-good-time-to-shut-up look?
Do you tell her, “I’m getting very angry, you should just shut up right now. It’s gonna go bad for you”?
Do you get right in her face?
Do you intimidate her with your presence?
Shame on you. A man who picks on a woman, what a joke.

Have you ever forced yourself on a woman? You’re a rapist.

You’ll say, “She’s my wife.” You’re a rapist.

Don't hold your wife prisoner
When someone is attacked, we call it abuse. As horrible as that is, what is even worse is torment. Torment is when you’re abused and you can’t get out. This is like prisoners of war and those who are held captive in slavery. For some women, their version of slavery and captivity and torment is called marriage. Their husband is physically intimidating. She’s afraid of him. She can’t leave, at least that’s what she thinks. She feels stuck, particularly if she’s got children. Some of you guys are tormentors and abusers and rapists and husbands and Christians, and that is absolutely inexcusable.

Women, a man who hits you is in sin
Most men don’t walk around thinking about their personal safety. I know a lot of women who do. Does she feel safe with you? Ladies, if you’re dating a guy who has ever been physically violent, run for your life, run for your children’s life, run for your grandchildren’s life. If he’s ever even threatened you with violence, there is something profoundly demonic in that man. There is something sincerely wrong in that man. He will then apologize, tell you he is sorry. He will shed a few tears, say it will never happen again and he will subtly shift the blame to you. “You know when you do that, it just makes me really angry. Don’t do that again.”

“Oh, okay, it must be my fault.” It’s never your fault. It doesn’t matter what you say or do, if a man hits you, harms you, he’s in sin, no excuse.

Head-of-the-house does not mean bully
And there are some guys, some absolute block-headed idiots who think when the Bible says that you’re the head of the home, that it means you get to be the bully. There’s nothing uglier than a guy who then takes this same disposition toward his children, especially his daughters. The grossest, vilest thing is a man who hits a woman, and the man who hits a woman is willing to hit his own daughter. It’s disgusting.

3. Honor Your Wife Emotionally
Some of you say, “I’m not emotional, I don’t connect.” You should. Men and women have the same emotions; they express them in masculine and feminine ways. Your wife needs intimacy. She wants you to know her. She wants to know you. She wants you to open up. She wants you to be passionate and loving and honest, and she wants to know you and she wants to be known by you. And the Bible says that Adam was with his wife, Eve, and he, what?

He knew her.

There are too many guys that turn marriage into a job description. He does his responsibility, she does hers, and there’s no emotional connection whatsoever. Those are guys whose sins are sins of omission. “I didn’t hit her, I didn’t yell at her.” Yeah, but you didn’t love her. You didn’t connect with her. You didn’t encourage her. You didn’t pursue her.

Ultimately, you failed her.

4. Honor Her Verbally
How do you speak to her? Do you have nasty nicknames for her? Do you raise your voice? Do you threaten her? Do you give back-handed comments? Some of you guys would say, “I would never hit a woman.” How about with your tongue?

When you wife is not there and you’re with the boys, how do you speak of her? What do you say about her?

Dont' put your children in the middle
You know what? Your children will pick this up as well.

You start saying horrible things about your wife, and the children will be left in this horrible position of choosing between their mother and father and invariably some of the children will despise their own mother and speak evil of her in an effort to remain loyal to their father.

A division in a marriage includes the children, they’re stuck in the middle. They’re casualties of the war.

If I close my eyes, no one can see me
You men could defuse this and take away this fear by honoring her verbally. Speaking honestly, respectfully, lovingly to her and about her. Some of you guys forget. You say, “Well, Jesus isn’t there. My wife isn’t there. I get to say whatever I want.” No, Jesus is there even when your wife’s not there. God sees everything. God knows everything, and you’re not getting away with anything.

5. Honor Your Wife Financially
“If a man does not provide for the needs of his family, he’s denied the faith and worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).

In Genesis, the woman’s curse was her children and submitting to her husband. The man’s curse was providing for his family. And what the weakest, most impish, worthless men among us do is, “Oh, my load is heavy. I know yours is heavy, but I need you to carry half of mine too.”

Men, you have to work
You've got to work hard. You’ve got to out-work the other men if you want to feed your family. That’s your responsibility as a man. If you want any men to respect you, if you want your wife to respect you, if you want your children to respect you, you pay the bills. You make the money, you feed the family.

We live in this day where there are guys telling their wives,

“Hey, birth control, abortion”
“We can’t have kids”
“You make too much money”
“I don’t like responsibility.”
Shame on you.

Your wife has a maternal duty to fulfill
There’s nothing sadder than a woman who loves Jesus and wants to be a mom, and the husband keeps saying, “I’m the head of the home, no.” What he’s saying is “I’m in charge and I command you to sin, to deny all of your maternal instincts." Titus 2 says, “The woman should be homeward in her orientation.”

“We’re a culture that is working hard to protect women and children, and no one has the common sense to beat on the guys who are the cause of so much of the pain.”

And I know that some of you guys are going to say, “Oh, but this is outdated.” Yes, and I would say look at the condition of marriages and families in our culture and ask if it’s working.

The latest statistics indicate 40 percent of all children are born out of wedlock. It is now at the point where women aren’t even pretending they’re going to ever get married.

They go to college, get a good job, get pregnant, have a kid. They’ve lost any hope of ever finding a guy who can actually carry the load, and that’s tragic. We’re a culture that is working hard to protect women and children, and no one has the common sense to beat on the guys who are the cause of so much of the pain.

Be generous with your wife
I know guys as well, they’re not generous. I know one guy, he’s such an idiot. This guy makes decent money and he’s totally chintzy with his wife. She gets no spending money, can’t go out to coffee with the girls because he’s a total control freak and tightwad. Be honoring of your wife financially. I’m not saying you have to live at a lavish and high level. But what I am saying is live within your means, you make a budget, you tithe, spend, save, invest well. I know it’s hard to live on one income. I know it’s particularly difficult in this economic climate, but for some of you boys, it’s a built-in excuse to be irresponsible.

Run the numbers rather assuming you need a second income
Statistically, if you have children, and put them in day care so mom can work, the other costs that are associated: eating out, take-out, dry cleaning, car, second phone, cell phone, things of that nature, plus the increased tax breaks and costs and burdens very rarely contribute anything to the bottom line of the family. The taxes alone eat a huge portion of it.

MSNBC did a big study on this years ago and they brought the data to the mothers who dropped their kids off at the day care. “You’re providing nothing to the income of the family,” and the women are bawling, having a nervous breakdown on television, saying, “Well, then why am I even going to work?”

Because that guy doesn’t know how to run numbers on taxes. He’s not smart enough to find somebody to figure it out for him. He just says, “Put the kids in day care, get a job, shoulder half of my curse. Oh and by the way, I forgot to run the numbers, come to find it’s not really helping.”

Honor her financially.

6. Honor Her Practically
With some guys, the house is a wreck. It’s never finished, the furniture’s broken, the car hardly starts, they live far away from community, they don’t have a schedule, they don’t have a budget, they don’t have a plan, the wife doesn’t know what’s going on.

Honor her practically. Do you have a budget? Do you have a schedule? Do you have an integrated plan? Do you have a life?

7. Honor Her Parentally
Gentlemen, your wife wants you to love the kids. She wants you to help raise them. She wants you to love them, to pursue them. She wants you to get guy time with your sons. She wants you to get daddy dates with your daughters. She wants you to do Ephesians 6 and be their pastor. She wants you to read the Bible with them. She wants you to pray with them. And you know what? You should want that too.

Do your job
So many guys who are Christians think “I pay for Christian school, I send the wife and kids to the Christian church. I’ve done my Christian duty.” No, you’ve abdicated your responsibility to others. It’s your job to love your kids. It’s your job to pray with your kids. It’s your job to teach the Bible to your kids. It’s your job to encourage your kids. It’s your job to discipline your kids.

“Christian, husband, father, employee. Those are your first four duties; it’ll take most of your life. You’re not going to have a lot of time.”

A wife will be so forgiving of so many things if she actually knows her husband desperately loves their children, that he serves them, that he cares for them, that he’s tender with them, that he’s Pastor Dad for them. So few children actually have a father. So few of those actually have a Christian father and how few of those actually have a dad who’s doing his job.

And I’ll tell you what, guys, this is not something you have to do; it’s something you get to do.

This is wonderful. Every night, my daughter Alexie, blond hair, blue eyes and looks like Tinkerbell says, “Poppa Daddy, I need a piggyback ride and a Bible story.” You know what? I do too. I need that as much as Alexie. I weep thinking of the day that I’m not going to be giving her piggyback rides, so I give her as many piggyback rides as I can because it’s a great season and a wonderful opportunity.

Honor your priorities
What this means, gentlemen, is your priorities will be Christian, husband, father, employee. Those are your first four duties; it’ll take most of your life. You’re not gonna have a lot of time. You're probably gonna need to put down your tools, your hobbies, your car, your projects, your golf clubs, your Xbox and probably going to need to put down the remote control, and your laptop, and your iPod to honor your wife parentally. You’re not going to have a lot of time for a lot of other things.

Gentlemen, your goal is not to stand before God and tell him what level you got to on “World of Warcraft”.

8. Honor Her Spiritually
All of this comes down to this point.

There are between 11 and 13 million more Christian women than men. Many women go to church on their own. They have to drag their husband to church, they drag their children to church. It is your job, men, to lead spiritually. You pray with the family. You read the Bible with the family. You pick a good church, become a member of it, submit to it. You pick the community group or midweek class you will be in. You are the one to lead the family spiritually.

Start with a prayer
Some guys say, “Well, I don’t know what to do.” Just start by praying with your wife. There are women who will read this sermon and deep down in their heart, this is what they want the most, “If my husband would just pray with me.”

There are some of you guys, you pray with all kinds of people, you don’t pray with your wife. Do you pray with your wife? Do you pray with your kids? Do you read the Bible with your wife? Do you talk about Jesus with your wife? Do you talk about Jesus with your kids?

Leading spiritually is the foundation of everything else.

Link to article: https://theresurgence.com/2011/06/01/how-to-honor-your-wife

5 Helpful Questions for Leadership by Mark Driscol

2011-12-25T10:05:00.002-10:00

About
Whether you are in a business or a church, Pastor Mark poses five questions to help leaders focus their mindset before jumping into a situation. As always, he explores practical experiences and mistakes from his past that have helped him learn how to deal with projects or situations by asking these questions.

Questions
Are you coming in with the goal of saving?
Is it your job to solve?
Are you coming in to serve?
Is it your role to sympathize?
Is it time to surrender?

Pain: The Departure of Weakness (Part 2_Final)

2011-10-24T21:55:00.002-10:00

Beware of the False Lover
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Ps 30:5).

When a measured assault enters our life we often respond in two different ways. The pain caused by the assault drives us to a place of either embracing the pain or we embrace anything that will make us feel better. That becomes the entry door to a false lover. Men and women each seek to avoid pain in different ways. Larry Crabb has summarized these two unique strategies often used to avoid deep pain:

All of us are trapped by addiction to a desire for something less than God. For many women, that something less is relational control. "I will not be hurt again and I will not let people I love be hurt. I'll see to it that what I fear never happens again." They therefore live in terror of vulnerably presenting themselves to anyone and instead become determined managers of people. Their true femininity remains safely tucked away behind the walls of relational control.

More common in men is an addiction to non-relational control. "I will experience deep and consuming satisfaction without ever having to relate meaningfully with anyone." They keep things shallow and safe with family and friends and feel driven to experience a joy they never feel, a joy that only deep relating can provide. Their commitment is twofold: to never risk revealing inadequacy by drawing close to people and, without breaking that commitment, to feel powerful and alive. Power in business and illicit sex are favorite strategies for reaching that goal.

Many times we seek to deal with our pain through various forms of addictions designed to resolve the inner pain we feel. All addictions represent a counterfeit desire for genuine love and intimacy. We conclude these lesser desires are legitimate needs instead of band-aids of our fleshly soul. These addiction lovers become isolation chambers created for ourselves designed to mask our pain.

Every human being has a desire to be loved. When we do not feel loved because of some event in our lives we seek to reconcile this emotional pain. So, if you are fighting any kind of addiction--over control of people, sex, drugs, alcohol, workaholism, shopping, overeating--you are seeking to fill a void only God can fill.

Pain has a useful purpose in our lives. Facing it, rather than medicating it, allows us to move to a place of discovering a capacity for a different kind of joy. That is the purpose of pain. We must let inner pain do its work by experiencing it fully. It feels like a contradiction to actually embrace the pain, but it is the only remedy for moving past it so it can yield its purpose in our lives. Otherwise we will remain unaware of our deeper desire for God and be driven toward a false lover.

1 Larry Crabb, Shattered Dreams, Waterbrook Press, Colorado Springs, CO 2001, p.95

Today God Is First (TGIF) devotional message, Copyright by Os Hillman, Marketplace Leaders.

Pain: The Departure of Weakness (Part 1)

2011-10-24T21:36:00.002-10:00

Storms are inevitable

Many couples fail to anticipate the trials and problems they will inevitably face. Then, when the troubles do hit, many husbands and wives mistakenly turn against each other rather than turning together to God.

Part of the strategy for facing troubles is realizing that God allows difficulties in our lives for many reasons. I’m not saying He causes difficulties. I believe He allows them for many reasons, but difficulties do not mean something is wrong with your marriage. And God wants us to trust Him in the midst of these storms and to grow together as a couple.

Trials do not bring neutral results: They drive two people together or apart. The natural tendency is to go through a difficulty alone and not share it as a couple. The following are some principles we’ve learned:

1. Give your spouse the time and freedom to process trials differently from the way you do. The problems Barbara and I faced that year brought us to a crossroad: Would we share our difficulties with each other and give the other person room to process the problems? I remember feeling tempted to think that Barbara was silly for being so introspective during the months that followed her heart episode. I had to fight the urge to discount her emotions and say, “Snap out of it, Dear. Everything is going to be fine.” But Barbara wanted to share her fears with me. She needed me to listen. Men and women process suffering differently, so don’t try to make your spouse like you.

2. Realize that there will be a temptation to become self-focused and to withdraw from each other. The desire to pull away is greatest during these periods because it is very difficult for another person to carry your burden. As a result, you end up thinking the other person doesn’t understand, and the pain associated with that conclusion makes you want to pull back to safety.

3. Respond to trials by embracing God’s perspective of suffering together as a couple. The couples who learn the art of facing storms together by seeking God’s perspective can develop a sweet and robust spiritual oneness. As we struggled with our trials, Barbara and I learned a principle for handling problems: “In everything give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). It isn’t a simplistic excuse to put your head in the sand and ignore reality. On the contrary, I believe when we give thanks in all things, we express faith in a God who knows what He’s doing and can be trusted.

4. Remember that your spouse is never your enemy. Realize that your struggle is not against your spouse; resist the urge to punish or think that he or she is the problem. Your spouse is your intimate ally, a fellow burden bearer who is there to encourage you as you go through a difficult time.

5. If the burden or suffering persists, seek outside help. If you feel you are slipping off in a deep ditch as a couple, don’t wait until you have all four wheels stuck before you seek help. Find godly counsel by calling your mentoring couple, your pastor, or a biblical counselor to gain outside perspective.

...[Learn] that suffering is common to all marriages. The way in which you respond to it will determine whether your marriage flourishes or flounders.

Adapted from Starting Your Marriage Right, © Dennis and Barbara Rainey, 2000, Thomas Nelson Publisher.

One Bad Apple (Great Application)

2011-09-28T20:07:00.002-10:00

Bad Apples

Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
1 Corinthians 15:33

One of my favorite object lessons in the sixth-grade Sunday School class I taught for many years was the “bad apples” demonstration. During a class at the beginning of the year, I brought some apples with me into the room—a beautiful, shiny red one that I called a “good apple” and a couple of others that looked nice but had at least one bruise.

“These two apples with the bruises represent a couple of buddies you really shouldn’t spend time with in junior high,” I would say. “They have a dark side to them—a compromised area of their lives. This good apple represents you, a nice Christian teenager but one who doesn’t see any problem with bruised apples. ‘These are my buddies,’ the good apple says.

“So these three apples are going to hang out together for a few months. We’ll check on them at the end of the year and see what happens.” Then I would put the apples together in a plastic bag and place them in the closet.

Several of the students would become curious over the next few months about what had happened to our little “buddies,” but I wouldn’t return the bag until the last class of the year. Then I’d read the verse we’re focusing on today—about bad company and its impact on good morals.

It never failed, of course. Nine months of hang time always took a toll on the good apple. The identity of all three apples had long been lost. All that was left was sort of a gross, discolored, mushy apple soup.

The buddies our children spend time with will inevitably influence them, either for good or for bad. That’s why parents need to be fruit inspectors, helping their kids spot the bad apples and encouraging their kids to build friendships with the good ones.

Tears, Onions and Marriage

2011-04-15T23:40:00.000-10:00

One of my favorites from the Rainey’s. The Gospel is the only silver bullet against the strife that haunts many of our marriages. Be blessed.

Do you know that unwinnable “Whack a Mole” game at your local kids’ pizza place—the one where the machine pops up plastic moles and your mission is to beat them back down as fast as they pop up? Conflicts in marriage are like that game; they keep popping up even when you don’t want to play anymore.
A week ago, my husband and I were in another unwanted skirmish in our marriage. Same topic, same emotions, round gazillion!
I’ve been disappointed many times that our issues are not resolved cleanly. They aren’t black and white.
Over the decades of our marriage, our repeated disagreements have settled into several categories: parenting values, decision making, money, sex, and travel. Victory, a conditional one, was declared in only one of these: parenting … and that was simply because time ran out. The others demand ongoing engagement.
Your own recurring marital battles may be over finances, in-laws, jobs or other situations. No two marriages battle the same combination of issues. Yet there are similar patterns.
The “we’re traveling too much” conflict was the one that caught us once again last week.
My husband’s mother affectionately called her son a “road runner” after the cute cartoon character that was off in a flash everywhere he went. I thought it was sweet. I should have paid attention to the truth she was speaking.
Not that it would have changed my decision to marry him. But his road-runner enthusiasm for travel, adventure, discovery, and conquering enemy territory has caused more ongoing stress and conflict in our marriage than any of the other areas I mentioned earlier. (By the way, I love to be home.)
Our recent conflict began when I realized we were over-committed. Again. Somehow the schedule monster had eaten up more days than we realized and suddenly we were facing the enemy of miscommunication with no escape. Feelings of mistrust, lack of protection, lack of support, and anxiety resurfaced as we confronted the fact that I need more time at home than he does, but he needs me to go with him, and support him, and do life with him. Neither is wrong. It’s what we do with the clash of those colossal differences that matters.
Like peeling an onion
At the core of this conflict, and at the core of any other recurring conflict, is fear. For me it’s fear that I am not really valued for what is important to me. If I perceive that Dennis is constantly scheduling us to the brink, pushing me to my limits, then I come to believe he hasn’t heard me, that he doesn’t get it, and therefore that he doesn’t love me. At the same time, if I refuse to adapt, to grow, to risk the stress of following him, then he perceives that I haven’t heard what he needs, that I don’t get it, and therefore I don’t really care about him as a person.
It’s like peeling the layers of an onion, rather than declaring victory. Each time we clash over this issue, and others, we are in different circumstances in our lives. I needed margins for different reasons twenty years ago when I was parenting full time. He needed my partnership for different reasons, too. Each conversation can peel another layer off our individual coverings so that we can see ourselves and our spouse more clearly than we did before. Our perceptions of ourselves and of each other are vastly flawed. We forget that most of the time.
So while I don’t believe we declared victory this time, that we’ll never argue or disagree over travel ever again, I do believe we peeled away another layer. I see more clearly that I need to work on my attitude about following my husband, that I need to rejoice that my husband wants me with him, and that I should trust God with this situation that He has given me for my good.
During a recent snow storm, our office building closed for the day. Dennis and I decided to enjoy every minute of the glittering snow-covered day, so we donned our winter gear and went hiking in the woods. On the way back, which was all uphill, I paused to catch my breath. As we stood there panting, my husband said to me, “I’m not going to push you anymore.” It had nothing to do with the travel issues, but I realized in that promise that he heard my words to him. He allowed me to be who I was in that moment—needing a pause in the action when he didn’t.
Next time you are chopping an onion, remember that those layers represent more than a pungent cooking ingredient. To the one who perseveres in marriage, each layer pulled back takes you closer to the heart. Though often accompanied by tears, as happens with onions, the progress made is satisfying.

Forgiveness: What it all comes down to.

2011-04-03T22:33:00.002-10:00

[Forgiveness] James MacDonald flicks the LED on to Matthew 6:14-15. Forgiveness/Unforgiveness is an important issue in my life and what is taught in the following is irradiant to the grave importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an option and if left to partial obedience, unforgiveness will mess you up. Read on and if you are convicted - repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Matthew 6:14-15

“Let's start with this most obvious lesson...we must choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a decision I'm making. In Matthew 6:14–15 Jesus said, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, (don’t miss this) if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

"Now, sometimes a passage of scripture seems complicated as soon as you read it. That's not the case when we realize what Matthew 6:14–15 says. Jesus’ words are stunningly clear. Read them again above.

Do you get it? I mean, those are pretty serious verses! Not hard to understand - just hard to undertake. You read them and think, "that’s gonna leave a mark! I’m going to have to look again at how forgiving I am." That's nothing you want to be messing around about, or sort-of getting it right. The verses aren’t complicated - but they will definitely complicate your life if you are an un-forgiving person!

And it's not saying that you get saved by forgiving. It is saying that people who really are saved are forgiving people, increasingly so. Not perfectly, not entirely, but increasingly we are more and more forgiving. As the love of Christ penetrates our hearts more and more deeply and more and more genuinely, we just become more forgiving people. Forgiveness is one of the expected bi-products of genuine salvation.

You ought to be the most forgiving person that you work with. Out of all the people, when they talk about you, they're like, "Man, he's not a guy who holds grudges. He's just not someone who finds fault." "She doesn't try to make people pay, she just lets it go. She just moves on. She's not petty." "He's not a scorekeeper. He's just not like that. He's forgiving, that's what he is." That's what people ought to be saying about you. The more you get to know Jesus, the more it ought to be true in your life that you choose forgiveness."

James MacDonald

The Crystal-Clear Reason for Living

2011-03-26T22:47:00.002-10:00

Objectifying the "Glory of God" often becomes extremely obscure and sometimes turns into a stumbling block for many. What many studiously diligent Christians and scholars discover is actually crystal-clear and even more awe-inspiring and motivation to draw closer to God.

The following from John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life offers just that lucidity your faith needs to grow closer and perhaps understand God more fully:

The Bible is crystal-clear: God created us for his glory. Thus says the Lord, "Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory" (Isaiah 43:6-7). Life is wasted when we do not live for the glory of God. And I mean all of life. It is all for his glory. That is why the Bible gets down into the details of eating and drinking. "Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31). We waste our lives when we do not weave God into our eating and drinking and every other part by enjoying and displaying him.

What does it mean to glorify God? It may get a dangerous twist if we are not careful. Glorify is like the word beautify. But beautify usually means "make something more beautiful than it is," improve its beauty. That is emphatically not what we mean by glorify in relation to God. God cannot be made more glorious or more beautiful than he is. He cannot be improved, "nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything" (Acts 17:25). Glorify does not mean add more glory to God.

[Glorify] is more like the word magnify. But here too we can go wrong. Magnify has two distinct meanings. in relation to God, one is worship and one is wickedness. You can magnify like a telescope or like a microscope. When you magnify like a microscope, you make something tiny look bigger than it is. A dust mite can look like a monster. Pretending to magnify God like that is wickedness [(because you're assuming God is tiny)]. But when you magnify like a telescope, you make something unimaginably great look like what it really is. With the Hubble Space Telescope, pinprick galaxies in the sky are revealed for the billion-star giants that they are. Magnifying God like that is worship [(because you know he is huge and you want to understand him)].

We waste our lives when we do not pray and think and dream and plan and work toward magnifying God in all spheres of life. God created us for this: to live our lives in a way that makes him look more like the greatness and beauty and the infinite worth that he really is. In that night sky of this world God appears to most people, if at all, like a pinprick of light in a heaven of darkness. But he created us and called us to make him look like what he really is.

This is what it means to be created in the image of God. We are meant to image forth in the world what he is really like.

Soccer Gods

2011-02-12T16:16:00.006-10:00

"You shall have no other gods before Me."
Exodus 20:3

Some people thought I was the best soccer player ever. After leading my brand new high-school and club soccer team to back-to-back appearances in the play off and semi-final game--never as a winner--I earned an invitation to the coveted Olympic Development Program (ODP) and Alabama College Showcase that would solidify a soccer scholarship to any soccer powerhouse in the nation.

Had I pursued this course I would have been well on my way to living my childhood dream. For as long as I could remember, soccer had been the focus of her life and often, my salvation. And now it was paying me back. Big time.

But strangely, just as I was reaching the pinnacle of athletic success, I slipped into an unexpected funk. I felt uncharacteristically empty and purposeless. After all my sacrifice, after all the incredible achievements (small in God's eyes and at this point, mine too), I couldn't seem to shake free from whatever was oppressing me.

Months passed without me being able to draw up enough energy for a single workout, as opposed to my previous era of five hour a day workouts.

On several afternoons, I summoned the strength to pick up a basketball and take a few shots on the goal. Within a my matter of minutes, discouraged by my lack of precision, I put the ball away for a long time. The very thing I had once hoped to be my ticket to success had eaten me alive.

Idols can do that, you know. There's nothing wrong with soccer--or business or music or writing or entertainment or decorating--but when something becomes the focus of all your dreams and attention and energy, it becomes an idol in your life. For all intents and purposes, you begin worshiping it instead of God.

Nothing can satisfy us like God. And nothing should replace Him in our affections.

The following thoughts often caution my idolistic/idealistic intentions: How many false gods could you name in your life today? What are you hoping they'll do for you?

I pray for Abba to protect my heart from being deceived and to give you and me an overwhelming desire to worship Him and Him only.

Yes, Jesus is the man...

2011-01-08T20:34:00.003-10:00

Jesus was fully man and fully God: at birth; at baptism; at death:

1 John 5:5-12
"This is the One who came by water and blood, Jesus Christ, not with water only, but with the water and with the blood. And it is the Spirit that bears witness because the Spirit is the truth, for there are three that bear witness, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood, and the three are in agreement. If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater, for the witness of God is this, that He has borne witness concerning His Son. The one who believes in the Son of God has the witness in himself. The one who does not believe God has made Him a liar because he has not believed in the witness that God has borne concerning His Son. And the witness is this, that God has given us eternal life and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life."

There is a group of people that claim to be the witnesses of God, they even call themselves Jehovah's Witnesses. And they claim to be propagating the truth that God wants revealed. They claim to be echoing the witnesses of God. But the truth that God once revealed, the true witness of God is that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, God incarnate. And the so-called Jehovah's Witnesses are liars because they deny the very thing to which God gives in the New Testament, summed up in the text I just read. The Jehovah's Witness religious movement says that Jesus may be called "a" god, small "g," but not THE God.

They say He is mighty but not the Almighty.
They say He was created by Jehovah, He is not a member of the Trinity, there is no Trinity.
Elohim, which is a plural word, means plural in majesty, not in person.
They say that the Son during His pre-human state was really an angel by the name of Michael.
They further say that the Son did not even possess immortality. He was created and created to die.
They teach that when Christ was born of Mary, He ceased being a spirit person all together and became nothing more than a human being. The Jesus that walked on earth had only one nature and that was the nature of a man. He was a perfect man, the
equivalent of Adam before the Fall.
The Jehovah's Witnesses also teach that Jesus became, or took on, the role of Messiah when He was baptized.
It was there that God made this human being His spiritual Son. And so He was first a created angel, then a created man, and finally the spiritual Son.
The Jehovah's Witnesses deny that Jesus physically, literally arose from the dead. He was not raised as a human son, He was only raised as an immortal spirit, His body never came back to life. In fact, once He had sacrificed His body, they say, He could never get it back.
Judge Rutherford, the demon-inspired man who invented the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses, said that the body of Jesus was disposed of and God who knows where it is will bring it back and put it on exhibit in some millennial museum.
They say Christ once a mortal angel, then a mortal man, and finally an immortal spirit will live on forever as a spirit being.

And from the way their writings are understood, has regained the original name of Michael. He is back enjoying angelic life.
Well you can see from this mish-mash that these people are not Jehovah's witnesses.
They are not witnesses of the true God.
They do not echo God's witness.
They do not echo God's testimony concerning His Son.
They are liars and they are representatives of the father of lies, they are the devil's witnesses.

And they have many old heresies reframed in their system, very old heresies that come from ancient Gnosticism. This kind of stuff lies behind what John says. This is part of the developing of Gnosticism. We've seen how they believe that spirit was good and matter was evil, and so they denied the full doctrine of the incarnation that God, the good Spirit, could ever take up permanent residence in a human being, was unacceptable to the dualism of their thinking. They did allow the Christ's Spirit to come down at the baptism, stay awhile and then go away. They could not involve God in flesh in any permanent way and certainly not in the sufferings of death.

They thought that at the baptism this divine Christ descended, came into the man Jesus who was simply human...this is part of what the Jehovah's Witnesses say today...they think that the Christ's Spirit came into Him in the imagery of the dove and then for a few years Jesus brought the message of God to man. And then the Christ's Spirit departed and only the man was crucified.

So deity, whatever form of deity it was, what ever form of Spirit being it was, left Him before the cross. And so His death on the cross was not a God/Man death, it was not a death that atoned for our sins at all. It was just another man dying another death. And the best we can draw out of Jesus is from His baptism until His Christ's Spirit left Him to follow the ethical teachings that He gave us.

They destroy because they despise the efficacious substitutionary atonement of Jesus Christ. Any heresy, any heresy that tampers with the death of Christ, the blood of Christ as God bearing the sins of men is satanic. John points that out in chapter 2 of this epistle. "He Himself, Jesus Christ the righteous, is the propitiation for our sins and not for ours only but also for those of the whole world." And then again as I read earlier in 4:10, "He sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins."

He came not just to teach us good things and then die as another man, He came to offer Himself as an atoning sacrifice, satisfying God for us. And so, John says this one who came, Jesus Christ, was simultaneously from His birth to His death and forevermore the man Jesus and God. Syrinthis(???) who came up with this, I guess, originally and his followers are dead. Their creed is no factor today. But all who deny the incarnation, all who deny the substitutionary death of Jesus Christ whether totally or partially, all who pervert that great truth are heretics undermining the basis of our salvation. If Christ did not take His divine nature to the cross, He cannot reconcile us to God. If He wasn't fully God He could not and did not conquer sin or death for us. "But He who knew no sin became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."

Some help from Pastor John MacArthur helps in clarifying God's Witness of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Road to Chaplainhood

2011-01-02T21:39:00.003-10:00

Here we go again. We begin yet another season of family separation as I prepare to head out to pre-deployment training at the National Training Center (NTC), in Fort Irwin California. We reunite in February, until the end of March, when the unit's deployment begins. It is a sad time every time separation is necessary.
Shifting gears, we've shared with you our desire culminating to Army Chaplaincy. We are continuing to work through the processes necessary to achieve our calling especially as we will need to transition out of Active Duty to University. There is quite a bit of leg work required but we are almost there. It is an exciting time and we are doing as much as we can to ensure a first time selection. However, it is not guaranteed but we rest all things in the hand of The Lord.
We petition your prayers for the three of us to remain diligent in growing and maturing and serving. Thelma continues to excel in being a spouse and mother as well as employee. At home, Noah receives his basic tutelage in music, reading, soccer, coolness and the basics of Scripture, as he prepares for kindergarten this year. Thelma continues to work for her company, Ready Mortgage Corporation doing what she does best, accounting. In addition to that she's able to help out with our dear friends' mission organization, Amiela. She also is completing her Accounting degree and CPA.
Our plate is full and our cup runneth over. We are excited for this year and all our anticipations. We will keep you informed on how we progress. Thanks for reading and praying.

Road to Chaplainhood

2010-12-23T20:56:00.003-10:00

To start off this entry and journey, I lay down at the cross of Jesus, any notion, that the projected long-term desire to serve Him is to be accomplished with my own strength and cleverness. Let me repent of all self-doubt and self-confidence. I have learned that to give of oneself to the point of emptiness and one's salvation is the just opposite self...the self is doffed and literally and virtuously non-existent. Humility - Serving others because of/for the glory of God. Marriage and parenthood, the military and even friendship, has taught me the pungency of this God-esteeming attitude.

The proper tools the Lord has filled me with have been procured by way of marriage to my dear wife and best friend, Thelma; my sweet son, Noah; and my employer, The Military - the Army to be specific. Two years ago, I switched military branches, transferring from the Air Force to the Army in search of a better career prospect. Part of this decision involved the helpful counsel of Charles Spurgeon who suggested the following:

"“Yes, I see; you have failed in everything else, and therefore you think the Lord has especially endowed you for His service; but I fear you have forgotten that the ministry needs the very best of men, and not those who cannot do anything else.” A man who would succeed as a preacher would probably do right well either as a grocer, or a lawyer, or anything else. A really valuable minister would have excelled at anything. "

Not that I have failed in everything (I have failed in plenty), but that I would be actively engaged with the Lord to thoroughly ensure that I am to become and remain a valuable minister.

So begins mine and my family's journey to chaplaincy. In the military, my spirit is especially burdened with Jude 22 & 23's exhortation to "...have mercy on those who doubt." Not only do we show mercy as ministers and believers, but we also "save others by snatching them out of the fire." Showing mercy to and snatching serving men and women who daily and willingly go into combat and other dangerously necessary endeavors.

This is my calling and so begins the process to training and becoming a military chaplain.

The Exemplary Husband (1)

2010-09-19T12:18:00.002-10:00

If the husband will be the kind of leader he should be, most problems within the family can ultimately be resolved. But if the husband defaults of his biblical and spiritual responsibilities, the problems invariably grow worse - and sometimes even destroy the family.

The husband's role is not simple, and it requires expertise that, frankly, doesn't come naturally to most men. The husband's various duties involve priestly elements, organizational and administrative tasks, and numerous responsibilities related to spiritual and practical leadership of all kinds. Being a godly husband requires the skill of a gifted manager, the heart of a loving counselor, and the ability to lead while gaining a follower's respect - chiefly by being a consistent example. The godly husband is a loving soul-mate, a mentor, a friend, a protector, an encourager, and a devoted listener. This is by no means a part-time calling.

How may a young man know...(Finale)

2010-06-19T16:33:00.004-10:00

...whether he is called or not? (Finale)

We must try whether we can endure brow-beating, weariness, slander, jeering, and hardship; and whether we can be made the off-scouring of all things, and be treated as nothing for Christ's sake. If we can endure all these, we have some of those points which indicate the possession of the rare qualities which should meet in a true servant of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I gravely question whether some of us will find our vessels, when far out at sea, to be quite so seaworthy as we think them. O my brethren, make sure work of it while you are yet in this retreat; and diligently labor to fit yourselves for your high calling. (40)

Charles Spurgeon

Lectures to My Students

How may a young man know...(Part 7)

2010-06-05T23:16:00.002-10:00

…whether he is called or not? (Part 7)

“I heard in conversation a plan adopted by Matthew Wilks, for examining a young man who wanted to be a missionary; the drift, if not the detail of the test, commends itself to my judgment though not to my taste. The young man desired to go to India as a missionary in connection with the London Missionary Society.

Mr. Wilks was appointed to consider his fitness for such a post. He wrote to the young man, and told him to call upon him at six o’clock the next morning. The brother lived many miles off, but he was at the house at six o’clock punctually. Mr. Wilks did not, however, enter the room till hours after. The brother waited wonderingly, but patiently. At last, Mr. Wilks arrived, and addressed the candidate thus, in his usual nasal tones:

“Well, young man, so you want to be a missionary?”“Yes, Sir.”“Do you love the Lord Jesus Christ?”“Yes, Sir, I hope I do.”“And have you had any education?”“Yes, Sir, a little.”“Well, now, we’ll try you: can you spell ‘cat’?”

The young man looked confused, and hardly knew how to answer so preposterous a question. His mind evidently halted between indignation and submission, but in a moment he replied steadily, “C, a, t, cat.” “Very good,” said Mr. Wilks; “now can you spell ‘dog’?” Our young martyr hesitated, but Mr. Wilks said in his coolest manner, “Oh, never mind; don’t be bashful; you spelt the other word so well that I should think you will be able to spell this: high as the attainment is, it is not so elevated but might you do it without blushing.”

The youthful Job replied, “D, o, g, dog.” “Well, that is right; I see you will do in your spelling, and now for your arithmetic; how many are twice tow?” It is a wonder that Mr. Wilks did not receive “twice two” after the fashion of muscular Christianity, but the patient youth gave the right reply and was dismissed.

Matthew Wilks at the committee meeting said, “I cordially recommend that young man; his testimonials and character I have duly examined, and besides that, I have given him a rare personal trial such as few could bear. I tried his self-denial, he was up in the morning early; I tried his temper, and I tried his humility; he can spell ‘cat’ and ‘dog,’ and can tell that ‘twice two make four,’ and he will do for a missionary exceedingly well.”

Counterfeit Pleasure

2010-05-28T09:35:00.005-10:00

40 Consequences of Adultery

by Dave Boehi

We were praying for someone who was cheating on his wife. And I was struck by what one person said in his prayer: "Lord, work in his heart so that he will think less about the pleasure he is experiencing and more about the pain he is causing."That seemed quite appropriate to me.

A spouse who is caught up in adultery is living only for the moment, caught up in a fantasy of excitement and desire, and ignoring the very real consequences. Recently a seminary paper came across my desk titled "100 Consequences of Adultery," written by Philip Jay, a student at Phoenix Seminary. The list provides a stark wake-up call about the ways infidelity can destroy a life and marriage.

Here's a selection from Jay's list:

1. If I committed adultery...My relationship with God would suffer from a break in fellowship.

2. I would need to seek forgiveness from my Lord.

3. I would suffer from the emotional consequences of guilt.

4. I would spend countless hours replaying the failure.

5. My wife would suffer the scars of this abuse more deeply than I could begin to describe.

6. My wife would spend countless hours in counseling.

7. My wife's recovery would be long and painful.

8. Her pain would grieve me deeply and compound my own suffering and shame.

9. Our relationship would suffer a break in trust, fellowship, and intimacy.

10. We would be together, yet feel great loneliness.

11. The reputation of my family would suffer loss.

12. My sons would be deeply disappointed and bewildered.

13. My grandchildren would not understand.

14. My friends would be disappointed and would question my integrity.

15. I would lose my job at church.

16. My witness among neighbors would become worthless.

17. My witness to my brother would be worthless.

18. My testimony among my wife's family would be damaged.

19. I might never be employed by a church again.

20. I might never be in men's ministry leadership.

21. I would suffer God's discipline.

22. Satan would be thrilled at my failure.

23. Satan would work overtime to be sure my shame never departed.

24. My wife might divorce me.

25. My children might never speak to me.

26. Our mutual friends would shy away from us and break fellowship.

27. I would bring emotional pain to the woman.

28. I would bring reproach upon the woman.

29. If the woman is married, her husband might attempt to bring harm.

30. He might divorce her.

31. An unwanted child could be produced.

32. My part in conception might trigger an abortion, the killing of an innocent child.

33. Disease might result.

34. Some might conclude that all Christians are hypocrites.

35. My business could fail because I couldn't be trusted.

36. My leadership among those I have led in the past might also be diminished in impact.

37. My zeal for ministry would suffer and possibly result in others not continuing in ministry.

38. My health would suffer.

39. I might have to start life over again.

40. This same sin might be visited upon my family for four generations.

It's a pretty sobering list, isn't it? What's even more sobering is that many people will consider these consequences and still proceed in their sin. The fantasy is more important to them than the reality.

Also note that, though the list reflects a man's perspective, nearly all the consequences would also apply to a wife committing adultery. The biggest benefit of this list may be in helping all of us realize the need to set up strict safeguards to ensure that we are faithful in our marriage commitment. If I am convinced of what adultery would do to me and to my family, I will watch my wandering eyes, guard my thought life, and avoid any situations that could put me in harm's way.

The fantasy is just not worth it.

Source: http://www.familylife.com/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=dnJHKLNnFoG&b=3842485&ct=8395929

How may a young man know...(Part 6)

2010-05-24T16:07:00.002-10:00

...whether he is called or not? (Part 6)

Gentlemen, we shall have to prove our call by the practical proof of our ministry in life, and it will be a lamentable thing for us to start in our course without due examination, for if so, we may have to leave it in disgrace. On the whole, experience is our surest test, and if God upholds us from year to year, and gives us His blessing, we need make no other trial of our vocation. Our moral and spiritual fitnesses will be tried by the labor of our ministry, and this is the most trustworthy of all tests. (39)

How may a young man know...(Part 5)

2010-05-08T12:33:00.001-10:00

...whether he is called or not? (Part 5)

One brother I have encountered–one did I say? I have met ten, twenty, a hundred brethren, who have pleaded that they were sure, quite sure that they were called to the ministry–they were quite certain of it, because they had failed in everything else. This is a sort of model story: “Sir, I was put into a lawyer’s office, but I never could bear the confinement, and I could not feel at home studying law; Providence clearly stopped up my road, for I lost my situation.”

“And what did you do then?”

“Why sir, I was induced to open a grocer’s shop.”

“And did you prosper?”

“Well, I do not think, Sir, I was ever meant for trade, and the Lord seemed quite to shut my way up there, for I failed and was in great difficulties. Since then I have done a little in life-assurance agency, and tried to get up a school, besides selling tea; but my path is hedged up, and something within me makes me feel that I ought to be a minister.”

My answer generally is, “Yes, I see; you have failed in everything else, and therefore you think the Lord has especially endowed you for His service; but I fear you have forgotten that the ministry needs the very best of men, and not those who cannot do anything else.” A man who would succeed as a preacher would probably do right well either as a grocer, or a lawyer, or anything else. A really valuable minister would have excelled at anything. There is scarcely anything impossible to a man who can keep a congregation together for years, and be the means of edifying them for hundreds of consecutive Sabbaths; he must be possessed of some abilities, and be by no means a fool or ne’er-do-well. Jesus Christ deserves the best men to preach His cross, and not the empty-headed and the shiftless. (37-38)

Rubber Meets the Road

2010-05-08T11:46:00.003-10:00

How may a young man know...(Part 4)

2010-04-30T23:52:00.000-10:00

...whether he is called or not (Part 4)?

Another exceedingly large class of men seek[s] the pulpit [yet] they know not why. They cannot teach and will not learn, and yet must fain be ministers. Like the man who slept on Parnassus, and ever after imagined himself a poet, they have had impudence enough once to thrust a sermon upon an audience, and now nothing will do but preaching. They are so hasty to leave off sewing garments, that they will make a rent in the church of which they are members to accomplish their design. The encounter is distasteful, and a pulpit cushion is coveted; the scales and weights they are weary of, and must needs try their hands at the balances of the sanctuary. Such men, like raging waves of the sea usually foam forth their own shame, and we are happy when we bid them adieu.

How may a young man know...(Part 3)

2010-04-30T23:27:00.002-10:00

…whether he is called or not? (Part 3)

Men who since conversion have betrayed great feebleness of mind and are readily led to embrace strange doctrines or to fall into evil company and gross sin, I never can find it in my heart to encourage to enter the ministry, let their professions be what they may. Let them, if truly penitent, keep in the rear ranks. Unstable as water they will not excel.

So, too, those who cannot endure harness, but are of the kid-gloved order, I refer elsewhere. We want soldiers, not fops, earnest laborers, not genteel loiterers. Men who have done nothing up to their time of application to the college are told to earn their spurs before they are publicly dubbed as knights. Fervent lovers of souls do not wait till they are trained; they serve their Lord at once.

How may a young man know...(Part 2)

2010-04-18T16:02:00.005-10:00

...whether he is called or not?

How diligently the Calvary officer keeps his sabre clean and sharp; every stain he rubs off with the greatest care. Remember you are God's sword, His instrument - I trust, a chosen vessel unto Him to bear His name.

It is not great talents God blesses so much as likeness to Jesus. A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God. For the herald of the gospel to be spiritually out of order in his own proper person is, both to himself and to his work, a most serious calamity; and yet my brethren, how easily is such an evil produced, and with what watchfulness must it be guarded against!

Travelling one day by express from Perth to Edinburgh, on a sudden we came to a dead stop, because a very small screw in one of the engines - every railway locomotive consisting virtually of two engines - had been broken, and when we started again we were obliged to crawl along with one piston-rod at work instead of two. Only a small screw was gone. If that had been right the train would have rushed along its iron road, but the absence of that insignificant piece of iron disarranged the whole. A train is said to have stopped on one of the United States' railways by flies in the grease-boxes of the carriage wheels.

The analogy is perfect; a man in all other respects fitted to be useful, may by some small defect be exceedingly hindered, or even rendered utterly useless. Such a result is all the more grievous, because it is associated with the gospel, which in the highest sense is adapted to effect the grandest results. It is a terrible thing when the healing balm loses its efficacy through the blunderer who administers it.

You know the injurious effects frequently produced upon water through flowing along leaded pipes; even so the gospel itself, in flowing through men who are spiritually unhealthy, may be debased until it grows injurious to the hearers. (8)

Source: Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon

How may a young man know... (Pt 1)

2010-04-10T16:28:00.007-10:00

...whether he is called or not?

An intensely helpful and contemplative allocution by Charles Spurgeon regarding the call to Pastoral Ministry. The following excerpts and series is taken from his book, Lectures to My Students.

1 Timothy 4:16
"Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you."

Every workman knows the necessity of keeping his tools in a good state of repair, for "if the iron be blunt, and he do not whet the edge, then must he put to more strength. Though Michael Angelo, the elect of fine arts, understood the importance of his tools, that he always made his own brushes with his own hands, and in this he gives us an illustration of the God of grace, who with special care fashions for Himself all true ministers.

It is true that the Lord...can work with the the faultiest kind of instrumentality, as He does when He occasionally makes very foolish preaching to be useful in conversion; and He can even work without agents, as He does when He saves men without a preacher at all, applying the word directly by His Holy Spirit; but we cannot regard God's absolutely sovereign acts as a rule for our action. He may, in His own absoluteness, do as pleases Him best, but we must act as His plainer dispensations instruct us.

We shall usually do our Lord's work best when our gifts and graces are in good order, and we shall do worst when our gifts and graces are out of trim.

We are, in a certain sense, our own tools, and therefore must keep ourselves in order. If I want to preach the gospel, I can only use my own voice; therefore I must rain my vocal powers. (7)

Discerning the Lord's Guidance for Your Life

2010-03-27T19:17:00.003-10:00

Proverbs 2
...For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding...(6)

1. Does it agree with Scripture or contradict it?
2. Are doors opening or are they hammering shut?
3. Does it make good common sense or are you rationalizing?
4. Have I taken the time to pray and think or am I rushing through this? (Ask God for His input)
5. Do my Christian friends agree with what I'm doing or do they think it's foolish?

The Catholic Gospel - FALSE

2010-03-21T16:46:00.006-10:00

By Sandy Nafziger

Raphael was painting his famous Vatican frescoes when a couple of cardinals stopped by to watch and to criticize. “The face of the apostle is too red,” said one. Raphael replied, “He blushes to see into whose hands the church has fallen” (quoted in Warren Wiersbe’s The Integrity Crisis).

You no doubt noticed in the news this week many reports on the widening Catholic sex abuse scandal. More than 170 students across Germany have claimed they were sexually abused along with 60 others recently announced in Switzerland—a pattern which can be traced across the entire globe.

As John MacArthur says, “False doctrine cannot restrain the flesh, so false prophets manifest wickedness.” Catholic theology abounds with false doctrine! We should always be aware of this fact—good doctrine produces good fruit, not bad fruit and bad doctrine produces bad fruit (Matt 7:17-20). False doctrine can lead to depraved moral behavior resulting in severe consequences as seen consistently in the Catholic church. This is why we do our best to teach “sound doctrine” (1 Tim 4:16) at the Hospitality House—yes, doctrine does divide (as it should) but it also unites those who stand firm on God’s Word.

I am not here to bash Catholic’s…we love them, but…there was a Reformation for a reason—the false teaching has not changed in 500 years and Christians must know truth so they can reach Catholic’s with the true Gospel—it’s part of my responsibility to warn (Phil. 3:1-2).

Catholic false doctrine—here are just a few examples. The Bible quotes are from the Roman Catholic Bible proving their own teaching contradicts their own Bible. The paragraph numbers at the end of the RCC (Roman Catholic Church) statements are quotes from the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

The Roman Catholic Bible says, “He saved us, not because of any righteous deeds we have done, but because of His mercy” (Titus 3:5).
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (RCC) says that each person attains His own salvation by grace and good works (1477)

Bible: “For you know it was not with perishable things…that you are redeemed…but with the precious blood of Christ” (1 Pet 1:18-19)
RCC teaches that Mary is the sinless co-Redeemer. “Without a single sin to restrain her, she gave herself entirely to the person and work of her son; she did so in order to serve the mystery of redemption with Him…being obedient she became the cause of salvation for herself and for the whole human race” (494)

Bible: “God is one, one also is the mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” (1 Tim 2:5; 1 Jn 2:1)
RCC teaches that Mary “did not lay aside [her] saving office but by her manifold intercession continues to bring us the gifts of eternal salvation.” She “is…Advocate…and Mediatrix” (969)

Bible: “Through his blood, God made him the means of expiation for all who believe” (Rom 3:25).
RCC teaches that sins are expiated in purgatory through “a cleansing fire” and that we “must strive to accept this temporal punishment of sin as a grace” (1030, 31, 1472-75)

Bible: “There is no salvation in anyone else, for there is no other name in the whole world given to men by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12).
RCC denies this by claiming the Catholic Church “is necessary for salvation” (846) and claiming “the plan of salvation also includes those who acknowledge the Creator, in the first place amongst who are Muslims” (841).

Bible: “When you heard the glad tidings of salvation, the word of truth, and believed in it, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit” (Eph 1:13). Those “who believe in His name were begotten not by …man’s willing it, but by God” (Jn 1:13).
RCC teaches “Baptism is the sacrament of regeneration…without which no one can enter the kingdom of God” (1213, 1215).

The RCC and the Bible can’t both be right since they oppose each other in many critical areas. It’s not a matter of semantics, interpretation or context. There is very clear disagreement—you can’t have two different truths about the same thing!

How I Almost Quit by John Piper

2010-02-15T21:58:00.001-10:00

February 16, 2010 | By: John Piper | Category: Commentary

Are you so discouraged you don’t know what to do next? I want to help you get through this. Maybe this will help.

The following quote is from my journal dated November 6, 1986. I had been at Bethlehem 6 years. If you have ever felt like this, remember this is 24 years ago and I am still here.

The point is: Beware of giving up too soon. Our emotions are not reliable guides.

Am I under attack by Satan to abandon my post at Bethlehem? Or is this the stirring of God to cause me to consider another ministry? Or is this God's way of answering so many prayers recently that we must go a different way at BBC than building? I simply loathe the thought of leading the church through a building program. For two years I have met for hundreds of hours on committees. I have never written a poem about it. It is deadening to my soul. I am a thinker. A writer. A preacher. A poet and songwriter. At least these are the avenues of love and service where my heart flourishes. . . .

Can I be the pastor of a church moving through a building program? Yes, by dint of massive will power and some clear indications from God that this is the path of greatest joy in him long term. But now I feel very much without those indications. The last two years (the long range planning committee was started in August 1984) have left me feeling very empty.

The church is looking for a vision for the future—and I do not have it. The one vision that the staff zeroed in on during our retreat Monday and Tuesday of this week (namely, building a sanctuary) is so unattractive to me today that I do not see how I could provide the leadership and inspiration for it.

Does this mean that my time at BBC is over? Does it mean that there is a radical alternative unforeseen? Does it mean that I am simply in the pits today and unable to feel the beauty and power and joy and fruitfulness of an expanded facility and ministry?

O Lord, have mercy on me. I am so discouraged. I am so blank. I feel like there are opponents on every hand, even when I know that most of my people are for me. I am so blind to the future of the church. O Father, am I blind because it is not my future? Perhaps I shall not even live out the year, and you are sparing the church the added burden of a future I had made and could not complete? I do not doubt for a moment your goodness of power or omnipotence in my life or in the life of the church. I confess that the problem is mine. The weakness is in me. The blindness is in my eyes. The sin—O reveal to me my hidden faults!—is mine and mine the blame. Have mercy, Father. Have mercy on me. I must preach on Sunday, and I can scarcely lift my head.

Source: http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/2249_how_i_almost_quit/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DGBlog+%28DG+Blog%29

Dad! You are Important!

2010-01-30T15:33:00.004-10:00

He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children.
Malachi 4:6

When I gaze at the family snapshots on my desk, a lump forms in my throat. Where are the grinning little boys proudly holding stringers of fish? When did they grow up to become fathers with their own little boys? Where are the little girls in pigtails? When were they transformed into stunning brides?

Time does not stand still, nor does the life of a family.
But there is one thing that doesn't change: the importance of a dad. A boy needs the heart of his father and the fellowship of men. He needs at least one man who pays attention to him, spends time with him, admires him and teaches him how to become a man himself. A boy needs a role model.

From experience, I can tell you how easy it is for dads to be selfish. When our children were younger, I struggled with placing my children's needs above my own desires. I realized that I had a choice to make every day. If I had gone home from work and retreated into my own world, I would have squandered my responsibility to build into my kids.

It requires perseverance, not perfection, to be the father that your children need. You will not be flawless. But you can learn how to reserve energy so that you don't come home from work so emotionally exhausted that you have nothing left for our kids. You can choose not to bend to selfishness but instead to say yes to investing in the next generation.

When our children were little, it occurred to me one day that I needed to save some energy for home. On a card I wrote, "Save Some for Home." I clipped that card to the shade of my lamp on my desk and for more than a decade, it reminded me of my children's needs for a daddy.

Dads, do you have an extra paper clip?

Source: Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. 26 January 2010

How to Pray Big for Your Child

2010-01-15T20:12:00.002-10:00

Mariah approached the beginning of middle school as a happy, normal sixth grader. She was a good student, she would be attending her neighborhood school with her best girlfriends, and she was excited about the new adventure. But that all changed on the first day of school. Mariah basically experienced the equivalent of a panic attack. She started crying uncontrollably and inconsolably. Tragically, the scene was repeated almost every day of that school year. Her mother would drive her to school but was often unable to get Mariah out of the car. Other days, Mariah would make a brave attempt to face her school fears, only to spend most of the day in the counselor’s office or crying at her desk. Her new adventure had turned into a nightmare.

During that time, Mariah’s parents did everything they could to help her. They prayed for her and with her. She started seeing a professional Christian counselor, and her school counselor worked with her every day. She also started taking antidepressants.

The next year, as Mariah was about to enter seventh grade, she and her parents agreed that she would try a new school. It was a Christian school with a great reputation. Things started off smoothly enough for Mariah, but within just a few weeks, the panic attacks were back.

Mariah bottomed out in the late fall of her seventh grade year. Her mother, Kathleen, wrote, “It was the most gut-wrenching thing I’ve ever experienced, watching my child just try to slog through such misery. She was crying out to God. She was begging me for help. ... It’s so hard to convey how severe this was. I’m not talking about a bratty kid crying and refusing to get out of the car. I’m talking about true hysterics, rocking, making guttural sounds, etc.”

Things were so bad that Kathleen and her husband drove Mariah to a local psychiatric hospital. They basically told Mariah that if she couldn’t gain control of her fears, they would have to hospitalize her. It wasn’t a threat; these Christian parents really didn’t know how to help their daughter. The drugs, therapy, and prayers didn’t seem to be working.

Mariah reluctantly agreed to give school another try. Kathleen remembers dropping her off and watching her frightened but determined seventh grader weeping as she disappeared through the school’s doors. Kathleen wrote, “I got in my car and started sobbing, and then I prayed for her like I had done every other day. I was praying things like, ‘O God, please help Mariah. Please, please, please. God, I know you hear her crying out to you. Why won’t you help her? Please just help her put one foot in front of the other and make it through the day.’”

And then it happened. Kathleen had a breakthrough. As she sat in her car, praying for God to help Mariah survive the day, she clearly heard God say, “Is that really all you want from me?”

That’s a really good question, isn’t it? How many times have you gone to God in a moment of parental desperation and pleaded for mere survival? How often are we as Christian parents guilty of not asking for God’s best provision but simply his bare minimum? How quickly do we forget while in our foxhole praying that Jesus promised abundant life to his children? Have you ever heard the Holy Spirit say, “Is that really what you want from me?” in response to your prayers?

Kathleen felt the gentle rebuke in the Spirit’s question and decided to go for broke. She wrote, “So I just unleashed. I said, ‘No, that’s not all I want! I want Mariah to be great, not good! I want Mariah to be blessed! I want everyone who knows her to know that your hand is on her. I want everyone who meets my child to know that God has blessed her.’”

And that’s exactly what God did. Mariah didn’t just survive that day, she actually enjoyed it. She was great, not just good. And she’s been great just about every day since. Today Mariah is a happy teenager who is excelling in school. She has friends, dances on the drill team, makes good grades, and serves in her church. And she’s completely off the antidepressants. Mariah is prevailing, not just surviving, because her mother obeyed the leading of God’s Spirit and dared to ask for something big from God.

Pinpoint praying versus no-point praying:

How many times have you settled for the “Lord, just help my child to survive” kind of praying that Kathleen wrote about in the last chapter? How often have you mumbled some weak, pathetic prayer in hopes that God would help you or your child just to get by? Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever thought about how ridiculously low we set the bar when it comes to praying for our kids? One would think that we were dealing with the little man behind the curtain who pretends to be the great wizard of Oz, instead of with the holy and creating God of the universe. Why do we frequently ask so little of God when it comes to our kids?

Perhaps you’ve prayed one of the following prayers:

- God, please keep Sally from getting pregnant.
- God, please help Jake to pass math.
- God, please help Timmy not to wet his pants today.
- God, help me and Joe not to argue today about his chores.

While there’s nothing really wrong with this type of praying, it doesn’t ask or require much of God. Do you hear the “Lord, just help us to get by” mind-set of those prayers? It’s as if the parent is approaching a God who is irritated and worn-out by the parent’s constant pestering—as if God might react as we parents do when we’re tired and irritable. But God is not an irritable parent. He never grows weary of our requests to him. And while there is nothing wrong with praying for little things, we should not settle for small answers when God has promised that all of his power is available to us when we ask. And when it comes to our kids — really, they’re his kids — we shouldn’t skimp. We need to pray with focus and not toss up weak and wimpy petitions to our holy God.

I’m talking about the difference between what I call pinpoint praying and no-point praying. We can’t afford to waste our time by praying no-point prayers for our kids. No-point prayers resemble the “God be with Bill” kind of praying that doesn’t ask anything of God. More specifically, no-point praying is:

1. Too broad — No-point praying asks God to cure world hunger or save all the people on earth. Broad prayers sound good on the surface but rarely have any real courage or passion behind them.
2. Too vague — This is the essence of the “God bless Joe” kinds of prayers. They’re fuzzy and have no real meaning. They don’t really ask anything tangible of God.
3. Too safe — No-point prayers don’t require any faith. There’s no risk at all in praying them, because nothing that requires God to act is ever asked of him.

No-point prayers are completely inadequate when it comes to our children. They’re too broad, vague, and faithless to be offered as real prayers for our kids. You and I know our children deserve better. God also commanded us to pray better than that. What he expects of us is pinpoint praying.

Pinpoint prayers, as opposed to no-point prayers, have clear purpose, direction, and focus. They’re the kind of prayers that honor God the most, and they’re the kind that you and I want to be praying for our children. Pinpoint prayers are:

1. Biblical — Pinpoint prayers are deeply rooted in God’s Word. They have authority because they flow right out of what God has already told us he is willing to do. There’s no guesswork in pinpoint praying. As a parent, you just take the world’s greatest prayer script (the Bible) and use it as your guide for what and how you pray for your kids.
2. Specific — There’s nothing vague about pinpoint prayers. They’re typically short, direct, and to the point. Consider Jesus’s petitions in the Lord’s Prayer. His requests for God’s name to be glorified and for God’s provision, protection, and forgiveness are all very specific and focused. There’s nothing broad or uncertain about them. Pinpoint praying requires you to think through what you want God to do, build the case for it biblically, and then say it in the most precise and deliberate way possible to God. No flowery language, no King James English, and no long or theologically loaded phrases are required with pinpoint prayers. Part of their power lies in their directness.
3. Bold—Pinpoint prayers don’t mess around. They don’t dance around an issue, hoping that God will get the hint and come through with a miracle without us really having to ask for one. Pinpoint prayers walk right up to God’s throne and plead for his best, for his kingdom, and for his favor in our lives and the lives of our children. This is not weak-willed praying. Can you think of any area where boldness, courage, and faith are more appropriate than in prayers for your kids?

Prayer is the most significant form of communication that humans, specifically parents, can engage in. When a Christian talks to God, all the power of heaven is at play, and cultures, nations, and history lay in the balance. For parents, talking to our kids is critical; talking to God about them is even more so. Ask God to equip you to believe and expect big things of him in prayer. Ask God to show you how to pray big, hairy, audacious prayers for your child.

Adapted excerpt from Pray Big for Your Child by Will Davis, Jr. © 2009

Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group. Used by Permission. All rights to this material are reserved. Material is not to be reproduced, scanned, copied, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without written permission from Baker Publishing Group.

Will Davis, Jr., is the founding and senior pastor of Austin Christian Fellowship, a nondenominational church in Austin, Texas. He is the author of Pray Big, Pray Big for Your Marriage, and Why Faith Makes Sense.

Four Days after Haiti's Earthquake

2010-01-15T10:04:00.003-10:00

Haiti, the poorest country in the western Hemisphere was rocked by a 7.0 magnitude earthquake on Tuesday 12 January 2010. At this time there are feared to be about 100,000 people dead and almost the entire country is destroyed.

I’m reminded and comforted as well as challenged by Jesus’ prognosis of disaster according to His wisdom in Luke 13:1-9. People came to Jesus with heart-wrenching news about the slaughter of worshipers by Pilate, and by the tone of the news bearers it would make sense that somehow the Galileans had deserved to die and that those who didn’t die, did not deserve to die. But Jesus said that everyone deserves to die. And if you and I don’t repent, we too will perish and this is a startling response to the gruesome news that we’ve just heard. This response and understanding is the kind that only comes from an adopted view of reality that is oriented on God.

My initial reaction to disasters like these is ‘man, this really stinks.’ But as
I’ve been convicted and convinced through the past week since Tuesday, the true meaning is that, ‘Stanley, you are a sinner.’ Fact is that all of us have sinned against God, not just against each other. This is an outrage ten thousand times worse than any earthquake, tsunami, hurricane, or all disasters combined. Think about this: God supplies the air for all lungs on the earth to receive air; and all hearts that beat on this earth deserve the wrath of God.

What this all means IS that we need to turn from the silly preoccupations of our life and focus our mind’s attention and our heart’s affection on God and embrace Jesus Christ as our only hope for forgiveness of sins and for the hope of eternal life. I believe this is God’s message in these many surprising disasters. God is trying to get our attention!

SO here’s the merciful message: there is still time to turn from sin and unbelief and destruction for those of us who still live. We’ve seen a taste of the eternal calamity from which God is offering escape and we should feel the everlasting and realistic challenge that God’s good news is the most precious message in the world. Amen?

a. Isaiah 43:2
b. Romans 8:35-39
c. John 11:25
d. Psalm 71:20
e. Matthew 24:32-51
f. 1 Samual 2:6-8

One thing I would urge you to think about is that the blame shouldn’t go to God, rather thanks giving for lives that were saved. We really shouldn’t get angry with God because He has not done anything wrong. There is no wrongdoing we can accuse God of. For sure, if not all, most of God’s people must pass through the deadly currents of suffering and death, not just surf over them.

Source: http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/745_putting_my_daughter_to_bed_two_hours_after_the_bridge_collapsed/

Christians and Humanitarianism

2010-01-12T23:01:00.011-10:00

When you think about the great humanitarian efforts achieved by the advance of Christianity over the years, you possibly think of hospitals and rescue missions and hunger relief. But perhaps the power of Christianity is proven best every day in homes and families and marriages like yours--when people who are self-centered by nature put their spouse's needs before their own. It's something He only accomplishes in us when we do the following:

Put Christ first in all things. When Dennis and Barbara Rainey signed the "Title Deed" of their lives over to Christ as a young married couple, they officially gave Him everything that was theirs--all rights to their lives, dreams and possessions.

Will you ever fail to remember the One who really owns our hopes, dreams and possessions? Sure. But whenever we've been tempted to live for ourselves, we've always been able to look each other in the eye and remember a time when we submitted everything of ours into His keeping and signed that title deed.

Give up all rights and entitlements. Paul said, "For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all" (1 Corinthians 9:19). Not a slave to some, but to all. And just as a slave relinquishes all rights to personal time and desires, we as Christ's followers are commanded to put others above ourselves. It's the only way to be the kind of wife or husband God intends us to be.

Be selfless in the little things. Sometimes I don't want to get out of my favorite chair to help Barbara carry in the groceries, sweep the kitchen or clean a toilet bowl. But it's in these minor, everyday moments that we teach our selfish selves who is boss. This is part of what the Bible means when it tells us to "learn to do good" (Isaiah 1:17)--to constantly choose death to self, to always choose sacrificial love until it becomes our first response.

Surrender, Selflessness. Sacrifice

2010-01-12T23:01:00.005-10:00

But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.
(Luk 12:48 ESV)

When you think about the great humanitarian efforts achieved by the advance of Christianity over the years, you possibly think of hospitals and rescue missions and hunger relief. But perhaps the power of Christianity is proven best every day in homes and families and marriages like yours--when people who are self-centered by nature put their spouse's needs before their own. It's something He only accomplishes in us when we do the following:

1. Put Christ first in all things. When you sign the "Title Deed" of your life over to Christ you officially gave Him everything that was yours - all rights to your lives, dreams and possessions. Will you ever fail to remember the One who really owns your hopes, dreams and possessions? Sure. But whenever you're tempted to live for yourself, always remember a time when you submitted everything of yours into His keeping and signed that title deed.

2. Give up all rights and entitlements. Paul said, "For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all" (1 Corinthians 9:19). Not a slave to some, but to all. And just as a slave relinquishes all rights to personal time and desires, we as Christ's followers are commanded to put others above ourselves. It's the only way to be the kind of wife or husband God intends us to be.

3. Be selfless in the little things. Sometimes you may not want to get out of your favorite chair to help carry in the groceries, sweep the kitchen or clean a toilet bowl. But it's in these minor, everyday moments that we teach our selfish selves who is boss. This is part of what the Bible means when it tells us to "learn to do good" (Isaiah 1:17)--to constantly choose death to self, to always choose sacrificial love until it becomes our first response.

Source: Family Life "Moments with You" 12 January 2010

The Duty of Christians Towards Believing Masters, as Well as Other Masters

2010-01-10T21:26:00.003-10:00

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
(1Ti 4:12 ESV)

Men's youth will not be despised, if they keep from vanities and follies. Those who teach by their doctrine, must teach by their life. Their discourse must be edifying; their conversation must be holy; they must be examples of love to God and all good men, examples of spiritual-mindedness. Ministers must mind these things as their principal work and business. By this means their profiting will appear in all things, as well as to all persons; this is the way to profit in knowledge and grace, and also to profit others.

The doctrine of a minister of Christ must be Scriptural, Clear, Evangelical and Practical; Well Stated, Explained, Defended, and Applied. But these duties leave no leisure for worldly pleasures, trifling visits, or idle conversation, and but little for what is mere amusement, and only ornamental. May every believer be enabled to let his profiting appear unto all men; seeking to experience the power of the Gospel in his own soul, and to bring forth its fruits in his life.

Source: Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T16:30:00.004-10:00

Reflecting on a life that is to be of godliness with help from Thomas Watson:

CHRISTIAN READER,

The soul being so precious and salvation so glorious, it is the highest point of prudence to make preparations for another world. It is beyond all dispute that there is an inheritance in light, and it is most strenuously asserted in Holy Scripture that there must be a fitness and suitability for it (Col 1:12). If anyone asks, ‘Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord?’ (Psa 24:4). To describe such a person is the work of this ensuing treatise. Here you have the godly man’s portrait, and see him portrayed in his full lineaments. What a rare thing godliness is! It is not airy and puffed up, but solid, and such as will take up the heart and spirits. Godliness consists in an exact harmony between holy principles and practices.

So sublime is godliness that it cannot be delineated in its perfect radiance and luster, though an angel should take the pencil. Godliness is our wisdom. ‘The fear of the Lord, that is wisdom’ (Job 28:28). Policy without piety is profound madness.

Godliness is a spiritual queen, and whoever marries her is sure of a large dowry with her. Godliness has the promise of the present life and of that which is to come (1 Tim 4:8). Godliness gives assurance, yes, holy triumph in God, and how sweet that is (Isa 32:17). It was old Latimer who said, ‘When sometimes I sit alone, and have a settled assurance of the state of my soul, and know that God is my God, I can laugh at all troubles, and nothing can daunt me.’

Godliness puts a man in heaven before his time. Christian, aspire after piety; it is a lawful ambition. Look at the saints’ characteristics here, and never leave off till you have got them stamped your own soul. This is the grand business that should swallow up your time and thoughts. Other speculations and quaint notions are nothing to the soul. They are like wafers which have fine works printed upon them, and are curiously damasked to the eye, but are thin, and yield little nourishment.

That the God of grace will effectually accomplish this shall be the prayer of him who is.

Yours in all Christian affection,
THOMAS WATSON

Sex: Purity vs. Idolatry vs. Adultery

2009-12-29T21:02:00.001-10:00

1 Corinthians 6:14-17
14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined4 to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.

My father-in-law gave me a wonderful book, “On the Frontline,” that I read in one week. The author, Tom Neven formerly served as a Marine and honorably separated from the service as an M-60 gunner and a couple of Embassy tours. He went on to earn his Bachelor’s in Philosophy from Wheaton College, then his Masters from Columbia Graduate School of Journalism.

My favorite section of the book he writes about is sex – but not in the sense that most would think about. It’s a charge to sexual purity, though the exhortation is by now cliché. So in his godly, mature, and insightful style he brings about a more savory perspective as he writes from experience in his many sea-tours to Subic Bay, Philippines; Hong Kong; or Amsterdam: places where the phrase, “Sun! Sand! Sex!” was coined.

What a perspective on the perverted of nature of sex. What the world fails to realize and I as well until I read this, is that sex leads to a form of union. The way God designed sex was so that two people [of opposite sex] would come to know each other. Though we seem to allow mainstream to decide for us otherwise, it still is what it is – THE WAY GOD DESIGNED IT. He does not change, right?

An excerpt from the book:

“There is something about the sexual act that brings about a union of two people, whether or not they are married to each other. The apostle Paul wrote, ‘Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘the two will become one flesh’ (1 Co 6:16). That helps explain why sex outside of marriage is so damaging. It creates a one-flesh bond that the partners don’t intend to be permanent. And while fornication (sex between unmarried people) and adultery (sex when at least one partner is married, but not to the sexual partner) are both condemned in Scripture, adultery is a degree worse because it not only tears apart an existing one-flesh union, but it’s a unique act of unfaithfulness. That’s why God often refers to idolatry and unbelief as a form of adultery – spiritual unfaithfulness to God (Mt 12:39; Mk 8:38).

The one-flesh aspect of sex also helps explain why pornography is so damaging. Since pornography is almost always accompanied by masturbation, it’s an attempt to enjoy the pleasurable/physical aspect of a sexual relationship without biblical intimacy, the spiritual/knowledgeable part of righteous sex. Using pornography as asexual stimulant is an attempt to deny and avoid the biblical truth that sex results in a one-flesh union.

(here’s the key) Rachel Zoller, a counselor at Focus on the Family… says that sex and our perceptions about it are completely intertwined with our beliefs about God. For example, Christianity is our relationship. You start a relationship with God and build on it. As it matures and develops, you have moments of intimacy with him. Then there are times when it seems you’re just going through the motions. But the relationship is primary; the intimacy is possible only because you … [committed] yourself to a relationship with God.

The same ebb and flow is true of marriage. You start the relationship, and the sexual intimacy comes as a result of having first made the unbreakable commitment. The intensity of your sex life will wax and wane, but during a down time you don’t worry that you are no longer married. The legitimacy of your marriage and the bond that exists is not based on the intensity of the physical aspect of your relationship. It is established by the covenant of marriage.

The converse is also true, however. Sexual deviancy places the physical aspect above the relationship itself – elevating physical desire and gratification above the intimacy of a conventional relationship. Therefore, when something goes wrong in the physical realm, the partners worry that the whole bond might crumble. In such an upside-down approach to marriage, sex becomes the foundation and the relationship will always be secondary. There is a recipe for disaster for disaster, because you can never maintain a constant peak experience in your sex life.

The intimacy of your relationship, and the marriage commitment you made that makes intimacy possible is the basis for everything else that is good about your relationship. Not the other way around.”

Source: “On the Frontline” Pg 118-120

What About My Transgressions?

2009-12-28T09:32:00.005-10:00

Psa 51:3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.

Another great article from the Raineys:

"I remember listening one night to a woman who told Barbara and me that she had finally had enough. She was right--her husband had pretty much given her zero in the relationship department. Years of being taken for granted had finally reached a breaking point. She was angry--really angry. And she needed a place to vent.

As I sat there, I couldn't help hearing in her diatribe some of the same mistakes I've made in my own marriage. As I told Barbara in a note the next day:

- It made me realize how hard I've been on you from time to time. Pressuring. Not appreciating your load and all that you've done for me. Not understanding your feelings.

- To sit there and listen to a woman express her need for a husband to care for her, to dream with her, to think with her about her future and her soul, was like watching the last bit of light go out in her heart. It was more than just her anger.
It was her whole countenance, her lack of radiance, her feeling of being "tired" of him. To think that a man could look into his wife's eyes and not find a companion, a friend, a person who wants to be there with him, is a scary feeling.

But I know I've been self-centered at points, too, just like this man. And it wasn't easy to hear again the hurt it can cause. I am sorry. Really.

When was the last time you came face to face with your own shortcomings? When you realized that in the pressure and practice of daily living, you'd forgotten the value of some very important things? If that's where you happen to be today--especially in your relationship with one another--it's time to own up. Say you're sorry. And maybe write your own letter."

So Right and So Wrong

2009-12-23T08:13:00.003-10:00

Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Matthew 7:3

Marriage seems to be the focus of the past few weeks. A great article from Dennis and Barbara Rainey's "Family Life Moments with You."

"I'm sure you've had a disagreement (or more than one!) with each other that turned into a stalemate or brick wall. You didn't really care if it came to a conclusion. You just wanted a truce. You wanted this thing behind you. You were tired of fighting. Maybe it started with an argument about the checkbook.
Maybe it had something to do with the in-laws. Maybe it was a difference of opinion on a parenting issue. But somewhere along the way, the conflict turned into much more. It took on a life of its own. Now you can hardly stand to be in the same room together.

Well, are you prepared to let reconciliation start with you? Are you ready to give up the notion that you're mostly right? Deeper still, are you willing to strive to recapture the reality of what your marriage is all about--the transcendent beauty of reflecting God's love on Earth?

I know that you may be thinking, When I'm hurt I don't care about God's glory. I just want to get even.

Don't be ruled by your emotions. Instead, do it Jesus' way: Take the log out of your eye. No matter what your spouse has done, no matter how misguided you think he or she has been, the key to real resolution is to start removing your log. Accept full responsibility for your part in this, and place the value of your mate and your relationship above the value of your own pride and your need to be right.
God wants more for you than being able to tolerate each other. He wants you to show forth His glory in the way you honor, love and respect each other.

Remove the logjam. And shoot for something higher."

Should Christians Play Santa? by C Michael Patton

2009-12-21T20:26:00.007-10:00

You may have one of these encounters in the future with your children. We sort of have alreay experienced this with our two-year-old son who glorifies Santa during Christmas but loves Jesus very much. The following is a very interesting but somewhat of an authoritative contemplation from Parchment and Paper.

"Tonight we went to see my mother with my children and the subject of Christmas was naturally brought up being so close. We sang some Christmas carols to prepare for the season. While others were singing Santa and North Pole songs, I took it upon myself (playing the role of the faithful pastor) to balance our excitement with the good Christian Christmas songs. (Waiting for applause to slow down). My daughters were just wanting to sing the Santa songs. My wife asked my oldest daughter Katelynn (9yrs old now) before I started the balancing act, “What is Christmas all about”? To which she responded “Presents, candy, Christmas tree, presents [again], and Santa.” My wife looked at me with the I-am-about-to-laugh-because-I-know-how-much-trouble-she-is-going-to-be-in-from-daddy look. Then she said, “Katelynn, Christmas is about Jesus, not Santa.”

I know you THINK you know where this is going, but you don’t. At first, my reaction was the typical OK, this confirms it. We are not watching anymore Santa movies, cutting way back on the Santa fun, and not going to talk about getting presents anymore. But that never feels right. I quickly turned away from that and started singing the Santa songs with them. Why?

Well, everyone is going to hate me, but why not? I will just dive right in. I don’t have that much trouble with Santa, sleigh bells, Frosty, and presents being emphasized at Christmas. I won’t even get too uptight with situations where Santa becomes the priority. (Waiting now for boos and hissing to cease). Santa is fun. Frosty is silly. And presents give us a chance to teach to give and exercise the gift of giving (since it is more blessed to give than receive). My daughter did forget the true meaning of the Christmas and I could have gotten very angry. But here is the thing: generally speaking, she hardly ever forgets about Christ. Christ is part of her life everyday. She talks to her friends about Him, she reads her Bible, she asks great questions, prays with me, she often voluntarily gives her allowance for others, and she honors her mother and I. Heck, she is even having me teach her Greek (no, I did not force this!). Who am I to step in when she is singing Christmas carols that don’t mention Christ and say in a rather legalistic fashion that she can’t sing those because it dishonors Christ? I have looked through my Bible and I cannot find where Christ gave a command to celebrate His birth on a particular day of the year. Yet He did say to celebrate the meaning of his birth everyday of the year. Isn’t it the incarnational life that matters?

This Katelynn is doing. What message am I sending by mandatorily sanctifying a particular day or season when every day is sanctified? I know that there are some days that we set aside in special way, and I have no problem with that. Neither do I have a problem when we set aside particular times of the year to focus on God and what He has done. But if Katelynn is doing everything else right and not forgetting about God throughout the year, I should not get upset if she forgets about what the meaning of Christmas is. I should not demonize Santa and other “secular” Christmas cheer when it is the life throughout the year that is important. I would rather my daughter tell one of her friends about what Christ means to her in July than to have her focus on the manger in December. Telling others about Christ all year round is commanded in Scripture and is the true meaning of Christmas.

As well, [stepping higher on my box] it would seem that there are so many people who choose to set aside all their secularism in December and require that there be a moratorium called on all things not pertaining to Christ, but forget the rest of the year. This seems to evidence a loss of priorities. I have often heard it said by Christians that Santa has taken over Christ in December, but I would argue that December has taken over Christ for Christians.

Should Christians play Santa? I have no problem with it. Personally, I can’t bring myself to tell my children that he actually exists, but I have no problem with others who do and I have no problem singing Christmas carols that don’t involve Christ so long as Christ is the focus of our lives, not just our Decembers. If Christ is not the focus of our lives January-November, December is not going to make any difference anyway because, contrary to popular belief, December does not sanctify the rest of the year.

Moral of the story: To truly celebrate Christmas presupposes that we are living an incarnational life 365 days a year. Don’t be so hard on poor Santa.

Merry Christmas."

Theology Becomes Real

2009-12-21T01:08:00.004-10:00

Intimate Theology is an off-shoot because of a daily devotional, "My Utmost for His
Highest,"by Oswald Chambers. The premise is based on John 11:1-44, a propos of Martha's theology & faith (whose sister Mary was "the one who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.") Martha, Mary, and Lazarus are a family close to the heart of Jesus,but laiden with the pain of Lazarus' sickness and following death [slumber] (11:3).

Martha's theology is realistic and comforting however grim and emotionally painful the current circumstance in her life and her sister's life (11:17-27).

Her correct faith moves her to believe that when Christ comes He will heal her brother. Martha also believes that Jesus has a special intimacy with God, and that whatever He asks of God, God will do. Her theology had its fulfillment in the
future (11:23-27) but regardless, Jesus draws her in until her belief becomes an intimate possession.

Is Jesus teaching you to have a personal intimacy with Himself? Especially in the West, in the personal problems that are present (sickness of a loved one, work issues, children, singleness, marital strife, family strife, church strife...),
perhaps that is when we realize our personal need. Perhaps these circumstances boil up to an overwhelming crossroads where your theology is about to become a very personal belief.

To believe in Christ is to commit to Christ. Then be changed by Christ. In the area of intellectual learning I commit myself mentally, and reject anything not related to that belief. In the realm of personal belief I commit myself morally to my convictions and refuse to compromise.

How personal and intimate is your theology? Your belief should be\MUST BE intimate and personal since I have committed myself spiritually to Jesus Christ (Luke 18:15-17; Matt 7:21-23). I am dominated by Him alone (Rom 5-6).

I am staggered: the more I believe in Him, how foolish I have been in not trusting Him earlier.

"Beware of an undevotional theology, and an untheological devotion." - John Stott

"God Comes Before My Wife" . . . And Other Stupid Statements

2009-12-16T23:08:00.002-10:00

Put this into your marriage and practice it. Very important to consider the wages of simultaneously doing ministry and the wages of being married.

It was 2000. Or was it 1999? Not sure. My wife and I had been married for three years. Katelynn was two; Kylee was on the way. We lived in a little one bedroom apartment about ten minutes from campus. I was living my dream as I started the four year ThM program at Dallas Seminary (DTS). Kristie was ready to get in and get out, tolerating the time spent away from home in Oklahoma.

It was early on in Dr. Mark Young’s missions class that the epiphany came to me. It was from the Lord, I was sure. My passion for theology, truth, and changing the world was rising every day. Dreams were big, but they were about to get a lot bigger. Mark had been talking about the importance of missions (of course…it was a missions class). Contextualization, culture, redemptive analogies, and the like were all being discussed every day. Our passions were on the rise as Mark told his stories about his time in Poland. He could hardly hold back the tears and neither could we.

The next week he brought up a map. He showed us the break down of the world in relation to the Great Commission. “You are here.” You know how maps are. We were in Dallas. He showed us from there where all DTS grads were serving. I think that they were marked with a pin. There was a high concentration of pins around the Dallas area showing that many DTS grads stayed close. There was also a high concentration of grads in all fifty states. They were everywhere. Oklahoma, California, Nebraska, Washington, New York, Illinois, New Mexico, and every place else in the United States. When we looked beyond the United States, there was no famine for the need of pins. There were only a few, comparatively speaking, in other countries. Mark began to explain how 95% of the graduates from DTS stayed in the United States, while only 5% served abroad. However, as he explained, 95% of the need was in other countries that did not have the Gospel, theological training, or churches. It was alarming and Mark’s passion for missions made the alarm that much louder.

Well, I heard the call that day loud and clear. I knew what I was called to do. I was not sure before, but the Lord’s voice was coming through like a megaphone. I was supposed to go overseas. I was supposed to be a missionary!

When I got home, Kristie attempted to probe for the passion and the source of my excitement. I held back some naively thinking it was going to be a surprise. I wanted to walk her through all I had learned and let the excitement build in her as it had in me. I told her everything we had been learning doing my best to work without the pins. I explained to her how much of a famine for the Gospel existed in other parts of the world. Then, when the time was just right, I gave her the “good” news: “We are going to be missionaries!!!”

Let’s just say that the rehearsal in my mind did not mirror the actual events. I thought that Kristie would be excited. I thought that her heart would break for those less fortunate people. I thought that she would hear the Lord’s voice as clearly as I did. But such was not the case. She began to cry . . . and these were not the type of tears I wanted.

I struggled with this quite a bit. We discussed, argued, and strong armed each other for some time. It became a very difficult spiritual battle for me. Kristie made it clear that she was not going to go to another country. Her thoughts were on the children and the well being of the family. Her thoughts were on the community that she knew and loved. She would either stay in Dallas or go back to Oklahoma City. Those were the only two options. It was the very antinomy of our lessons on missions. To me, she was quenching the great commission. She was quenching God himself!

Thus began quite a struggle. Was I a follower of the Lord or follower of my wife? That was the question as I began to see it. In fact, I began to think that if Kristie would not go with me, I would go alone. After all, which is the greater good: staying married or saving souls? Or better, which is the greater evil: divorce or not following God’s call?

Then one day in class Mark had his wife Priscilla come and give her testimony of her life out on the mission field. I admired her so much. She was the perfect wife. She understood the priority of the call of the Lord. It broke my heart that my wife was not like her.

That night I decided to resort to some drastic measures. I decided to have an intervention. This was not a drug or alcohol intervention, but a spiritual one and my wife was the subject. This has to work, I thought to myself. I began to discuss these things with my wife once again and, as usual, things were not going to well. It was then that I pulled out my ace in the hole—the trump card. I called Mark Young at home. “Mark, this is Michael Patton from your missions class” I said. “Hello Michael, what can I do for you?” I then proceeded to explain how effective his course had been on me. I told him that I had been called into missions, but there was a hang-up that I thought he could help with. I told him the situation with Kristie and asked if he could talk to her. (Oh yeah…this was going to be good.)

However, the phone never met my wife’s ears that night. Mark immediately put me on hold. After a minute or two a woman’s voice came on the phone. It was Priscilla. Oh, good strategy, I thought to myself. Let’s let the wives discuss this together. However, Priscilla did not want to talk to Kristie. She wanted to talk to me. And it was not in a nice voice. She proceeded to . . . ahem . . . terrify me tell me how it really was and what I was going to do. For the next five minutes I listened to this wonderful woman as I shrank to the size of a peanut. She did not hold back either.

What was her message? In essence it was this: “Michael, God is not going to call you into something that he does not also call your wife into.” You can add about a hundred exclamation points after that and you will catch my drift. I would not even be surprised if there was not a curse word thrown in here or there. I can’t remember. “If God sovereignly calls you into something, do you think he is going to forget about your wife?” she continued. “If she is against it, it is not his will. Period!”

Well, so much for that idea.

That conversation changed me. It changed my marriage. I will never forget it and never be able to express how much of an effect Priscilla’s boldness had on me that night. She helped to re-prioritize this passionate and selfish maverick. She helped me to know that my first priority in ministry is to my wife and family. In a very real sense, Priscilla saved my marriage from my passion for ministry.

Paul tells Timothy, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever” (1Tim. 5:8). I lost sight of that. I was very immature. My idea that the greatest good was spreading the Gospel and the only way to do that was to go where I felt I was being called. I was almost ready to lose my testimony in order to testify for Christ.

Since then I have seen this situation more times than I can count. It is usually always the same: a zealous husband who has become embittered against his wife because she will not follow him in his zealousness. One good friend just got a divorce because his wife did not want to become a missionary. He thought it was the Lord’s will and he believed her unwillingness was keeping him from a “greater good.” Now, after the divorce, his immaturity has disqualified him from taking that step even by himself. Another friend is becoming embittered toward his wife because her focus is elsewhere. Their marriage is suffering. I could tell many more stories, but I don’t want to betray anyone’s confidence.

Friends (and especially young zealous husbands or soon to be husbands), don’t make the mistake of having your passion for ministry end your marriage. Your first ministry is your marriage. If you don’t get that, you are not qualified for ministry. In the spirit of Priscilla: Do you not think that God is powerful enough to call you both into ministry or do you think he only has enough power to call one of you? If so, then he is not a God worth your time anyway. In short, if God does not call your wife, he is not calling you. Period.

Thanks Priscilla.

Source: reclaimingthemind.org

Zealous Husbands Who Destroy Their Marriages For the Ministry

2009-12-14T19:18:00.005-10:00

Here is a great article posted by Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile on his blog: Pure Church. Enjoy- http://purechurch.blogspot.com/2009/12/zealous-husbands-who-destroy-their.html

A note from C. Michael Patton:

Friends (and especially young zealous husbands or soon to be husbands), don’t make the mistake of having your passion for ministry end your marriage. Your first ministry is your marriage. If you don’t get that, you are not qualified for ministry. In the spirit of Priscilla: Do you not think that God is powerful enough to call you both into ministry or do you think he only has enough power to call one of you? If so, then he is not a God worth your time anyway. In short, if God does not call your wife, he is not calling you. Period.

Praying in Jesus' Name

2009-11-20T10:41:00.004-10:00

John 14:13,14
“Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.”

To ask in Jesus’ name does not mean to tack such an expression on the end of a prayer as a mere formula. It means:

1. The believer’s prayer should be for Christ’s purpose.
2. The believer’s prayers should be on the merit of Christ and not any personal merit of worthiness.
3. The believer’s prayer should be in pursuit of Christ’s glory alone.

Pray without ceasing and petition in faith and without doubting.

The Trial of Faith

2009-11-18T20:12:00.001-10:00

It's been refreshing to take a step back to assess my goals as a preacher of the Bible yet alone a 'finishing believer.' Today's devotional, courtesy of Oswald Chambers, found me in Matthew 17:14-21 and taking serious stock of the true essence of the kind of faith God has called us to. Wow I fall short.

OC states the following regarding faith:

"We have the idea that God rewards us for our faith, and it may be so in the initial stages. Faith brings us into the right relationship with God and gives him His opportunity to work. Yet God frequently has to knock the bottom out of our experience as His saint to get us in direct contact with Himself. God wants us to understand that it is a life of faith, not a life of emotional enjoyment of His blessings."

For many of us:

"The beginning of our life of faith was very narrow and intense, centered around a small amount of experience that had as much emotion as faith in it, and it was full of light and sweetness. Then God withdrew his conscious blessing to teach us to 'walk by faith' (2 Cor 5:7)."

"Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried. And the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God's character must be proven as trustworthy in our own minds. Faith being worked out in reality must experience times of unbroken isolation."

How to Read Proverbs

2009-11-16T10:26:00.006-10:00

From: How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth by Gordon Fee & Douglas Stuart

For convenience, listed below in summary form are some rules that will help make proper use of Proverbs and be true to theri divinley inspired intent.
1. Proverbs are often parabolic (i.e., figurtive, pointing beyond themselves).
2. Proverbs are intensely practical, not theoretically theological.
3. Proverbs are worded to be memorable, not technically precise.
4. Proverbs are not designed to support selfish behavior - just the opposite!
5. Proverbs strongly reflecting ancient culture may need sensible "translation" so as not to lose their meaning.
6. Proverbs are not guarantees from God but poetic guidelines for good behavior.
7. Proverbs may use highly specific language, exaggeration, or any of a variey of literary techniques to make their point.
8. Proverbs give good advice for wise approaches to certain aspects of life but are not exhaustive in their coverage.
9. Wrongly used, proverbs may justify a crass, materialistic lifestyle. Rightly used, proverbs will provide practical advice for daily living.

Maiden Post

2009-11-15T22:22:00.003-10:00

"...the gospel...
...of first importance..."
1 Corinthians 15:1-3

If there's anything in life that we should be passionate about, it's the gospel. And I don't mean passionate only about sharing it with others. I mean passionate about thinking about it, dwelling on it, rejoicing in it, allowing it to color the way we look at the world. Only one thing can be of first importance to each of us. And only the gospel ought to be."

C.J. Mahaney, The Cross Centered Life, 20-21